More than just chance

My dream was suddenly interrupted by John Mayer belting out the chorus of a song. When I cracked open my eyes to the orange glow of the room, I realized that it was the ringtone I had assigned my mom. As I rolled over to pick up the phone I glanced at the clock, noticing it was12:30 in the afternoon.

“Hey, what’s going on?” I said as I flipped open the phone. “Brant, you need to come home,” said the voice on the other end. Only, it wasn’t my mom – it was her best friend, Ve. “What? What’s wrong, where’s Dot?” I replied frantically. “Bob was in accident, it’s not good,” she said. She explained to me that my mom, Dot, couldn’t come to the phone at the moment and to leave as soon as possible.

I sprung up out of my bed, running to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth quickly and opened my overnight bag, shoveling in whatever clothes were nearby. I stood in front of my closet for a moment, thinking – hanging in front of me was my black suit. I couldn’t let myself grab the suit, I couldn’t resign myself to the fact that I would lose my dad that day.

I was in my car, headed towards Durham less than 15 minutes after getting the call. Soon after, my mom’s ringtone blared out again. This time, it was my mom. She sounded calm, telling me
to take my time and offering no more news on what had happened.

I drove with the music off, reflecting on the conversation my dad and I had the two days before while driving to pick up lunch. He and my mom had surprised me, coming by for a couple of hours just to hang out at my apartment. He told me how proud he was of how I was doing with school and work and that he rarely ever worried about how my life would end up. I told him that it never would have happened if he hadn’t believed in me, even when there were times he shouldn’t have put much faith in me.

All of the sounds of the highway were gone – no wind whipping over my car, no wheels turning over the uneven pavement. There was a complete silence in the car, in my head.
I couldn’t take the silence any longer; I had to flip on the radio. I turned on the Jim Rome
Show, which we had often listened to when we drove together in the afternoon. I was able to take my mind off what was going on for a few minutes at a time but then I’d suddenly remember him carrying me around on his shoulders a Disney World or helping me get out of being grounded.

Two hours of thinking about every imaginable scenario came to an end when I pulled up to my house. The driveway was mostly full and a few cars lined the street.

As I walked to the door, I pulled my green Tampa Bay cap down to my eyebrows and let out a deep sigh. I stepped in and looked up to the living room on the left. The conversation between my mom and her sisters suddenly went silent. The entire room was staring me down as my mom came over and grabbed my hand to lead me upstairs.

She was in front of me, calculating her words.

“What happened,” I said. “It’s not good…not good,” she said quietly with tears in the corners of her eyes. “Is he,” sputtered out as I pulled my cap down further “Is he… still here,” I relplied.
She shook her head and looked me in the eye, “He’s gone, he loved you so much, Brant,” she said as she reached to hug me.

My head rested over her left shoulder with my arms hanging down by my side and staring blankly at the white door. I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t speak-- I was paralyzed. The man who taken me in as one of his own at the age of four was gone.

One of his work crew backed into him as he walked across a parking lot to get something for the job inside. When he got hit, he went flying backwards and hit his head in the wrong spot on the pavement. It was almost instant.

Never again would we get to watch a football game together or talk over a plate of fried squash. After all the work he put in to send me to college, he wouldn’t be at my graduation.

I’m not even sure when I realized that my mom was sobbing uncontrollably. When I heard her sobbing, mine began. She kept repeating to me, “he loved you so much, so much.” I said, “I know.”

While the shock of it was all too much at first, I was able to look back over the next few nights and find myself at peace with it.

I’m not into religion or anything of that nature – but I know there was more to our conversation that day than just a chance meeting. Something brought him to me that day, some force brought those words out.

He overcame unimaginable odds everyday and there’s no doubt in my mind that he could have overcome the accident had he wanted to. He was at peace though, his daughter was successful and he thought his little boy was going to be alright. He and Dot had grown much closer recently with me out of the house. He knew where his relationships stood with everyone that mattered and he was proud of everything he had accomplished.

His work here was done.