Johnny Should Have Come Marching Home Again

My tears flowed as I looked down at perfect bone structure, the honey maple skin and the perfect uniform. He looked serene on the white satin, his body resting under a new American flag. Thunder rumbled as mourners shuffled by the mahogany casket. The reverend stepped to the podium in the high school gym in rural North Carolina and a hush fell over an audience of more than a thousand people. They all had turned out just as I had, to say good-bye to a local son, a fallen hero, Corporal Mark Anthony Bibby. As I listened to the songs of the choir and the eulogies presented by military personal, friends and family, I was thinking how grateful I was to have my own personal memories of this young man.

I had met Mark as a gawky freshman at try-outs for basketball where my husband coached. Mark stood out immediately. It wasn’t his ball handling skills -- at that point it was questionable if he would even make the JV squad -- but he had an adorable crooked smile and a contagious laugh that delighted everyone. He was a good looking kid but a bit clumsy from his rapid growth the prior summer. His looks were only matched by his likable personality and impeccable manners. His head would drop shyly when I spoke to him and he was always quick to respond with a “yes ma’am” as his Momma had taught him that was the way to speak to women.

For the next four years his face was familiar me. Mark had a younger sister, Christina, who had become one of my daughter’s friends. As a chauffeur to the middle school crowd, Mark often ended up taking the girls to the mall, movies or the beach. Not to say he always liked it, but he carried out the duty with endless energy and jovial teasing.

That positive attitude earned him a place as class president and the title of “best all around” his senior year. He was an athlete, a scholar, an artist and a favorite among his peers and teachers. He was an aggravation to his sister and a fan to his brother away at sea in the Navy. Most pointedly he was a young man of honor and great patriotism. Upon graduating high school, he immediately joined the Army.

For years we just saw Mark occasionally when he returned home for a holiday, vacation and his sister’s graduation. After serving four years in the US Army, he left the military to pursue his dream of an engineering degree at NC A&T. When Operation Enduring Freedom was declared, his feelings of honor and patriotism overflowed and he volunteer to return to active duty, providing the Army with his skills as a nuclear and chemical decontamination specialist. That was January of 2003.

Six months later, on the day that our nation cheered the news of the elimination of Saddam’s two sons by coalition forces, the American death toll in Iraq officially passed that of the Gulf War. The death that set that morbid record was that of Corporal Bibby. With the strike from a rocket-propelled grenade, Mark became an official footnote in a conflict that would continue on to present.

Any man, woman, son, daughter, wife, father, or friend who dons the uniform and chooses a way of life most of us could never imagine – to live and work in defense of our county – is a hero in my book. Mark added even further depth to my philosophy with his own words that were read at his funeral. In an e-mail to his family just a day before his death Mark wrote:

“Life is short. You have to make the best out of every single day that you have
on this earth. Remember the only thing in this world that is guaranteed is that
there is 23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds in every single day. The day will
end and a new one will begin. It is up to you to make that time useful...
Remember that we are a very lucky and blessed culture. So don't ever take
anything for granted. Love yourself. Love the person that you are with.”

With those words, his funeral was concluded and an American hero was then laid to rest. Whenever I have a bad day or things seem to be too much to handle, I remember Mark’s words. I am alive; I have a wonderful family and many advantages. And I am blessed to have had the brief privilege of knowing a true American hero.