Keeping It Really Real At 45

My friend and hometown neighbor David Verhaagen is my hero, because he is the most well rounded and interesting person I have ever met. From appearance alone you would not guess that he is intelligent and has a sense of humor, because often times he has a stern and distant look. He has a scar under his left eye which streaks across his face almost to his ear. The first time you ask him about the scar, he will not tell you how he got it and will claim that he will never tell anyone, including his wife, until the day he dies. However if you ask him more than once, on another occasion, then he will make up an elaborate lie, that you will probably believe until you overhear another completely different and ridiculous story coming from the mouths of neighborhood kids.

Dave is the richest person in our neighborhood. He has a 3 story house, with a flower garden in the front yard, a pool in the back, an old school mustang, and tons of weird gadgets which he loves showing off. For example, he has a boat which has a glass bottom, night vision goggles, a massage recliner, a pool table with blood red felt, a set of Atari video games, and a large snack vending machine in his basement which he teaches kids how to scam. It only works on this one kind of snack machine, but they are still in circulation so it comes in handy sometimes. If you press the letter, and then press coin return, and put your money back in and press the corresponding number, then it gives you the snack and doesn’t take your money; you can either get another snack, or get your money back.

Twice a year he hosts a barbeque in the cul-de-sac at the very end of the neighborhood where his house is, and he invites everyone from the neighborhood and then some. He does it for the “candy holidays,” which is what he calls Halloween and Easter. On Halloween there’s a haunted house in his garage, and on Easter there’s an egg hunt. Anyone who can guess everything that is in the “brains” while blindfolded gets a jar of bloody teeth (different colored candy corns), and whoever collects the most Easter eggs gets a giant chocolate bunny. I’m usually one of the only ones between 16 and 30 who attends, but it’s worth it because I rarely get to hang out with him and I like catching up. Dave is cool to talk to because he gives great advice that is never condescending, knows a lot about new music, is a classic rock encyclopedia, and he also has over 1500 DVD’s in his collection.

Dave is a psychologist at Southeast Psychological Services, and aside from case study reports, he also writes novels on the side. Although he has never published anything, he has written three fiction novels. I admire him because I would like to write novels someday, but do not know if I want to do that as my sole profession. Also, he is a complete Halo addict/expert and a pathetically dorky Star Wars enthusiast. He made the paper one year for dressing up as Darth Vader for the opening night of Star Wars III, and there is a quote from Dr. Verhaagen about the impact of Star Wars on film culture. I guess Dave is my hero because he is such a movie and video game nerd, who has strange obsessions that most other adults cannot relate to, and yet somehow he is respected and loved by everyone. Dave’s life is the kind I would like to have when I am middle aged, and his situation is how I picture the American dream: a rewarding job, a large house, tons of money, many friends, and a hot wife. That and I think he’s happy.