Alpha Dog

Alpha Dog is a powerful film based on the true story of the kidnapping and murder of 15-year-old Nicholas Markowitz and the alleged involvement of drug dealer Jesse James Hollywood, the youngest men ever to be on the FBI’s most wanted list.

The movie opens with Sonny Truelove (played by Bruce Willis), Johnny’s father as well as drug supplier, being interviewed about good parenting. Sonny is a major scumbag with links to organized crime who is using his son as the front for his own business. It is unclear who is interviewing him, or for what purpose. As the movie progresses we witness how Johnny and his father work their deals and move large amounts of marijuana worth thousands of dollars.

At one of his many parties, Johnny meets with Jake Mazursky, one of Johnny’s part-time distributors. When Jake fails to collect a drug debt for Johnny, they begin to fight and Johnny pulls a gun on him. Later, in retaliation Jake and some friends break in to vandalize Johnny’s house.

During all of these crazy events we are introduced to Jake’s 15-year-old half-brother Zach. Zach is going through some rough times of his own. Since his older brother is such a screw-up, his mother (Sharon Stone) smothers him and treats him like a child. When his parents confront him about a bong they found in Zach’s room, he decides to run away from home.

After Johnny cleans up his house, he and his friends Frankie (Justin Timberlake) and “TKO” set out to get kill Jake. After the task proves to be unsuccessful they come across Zach walking along a country road, so they pull over and kidnap him, throwing him into the back of the van, hoping to use him as leverage to make Jake pay his debt. They take him to Frankie's house in Palm Springs, California. Zach begins to feel he is amongst friends and enjoys the break from home life with his over-protective mother. He is given alcohol and drugs and loses his virginity. He is confident that Jake will soon pay his debt, and that he will then be released. Through all of this the movie continually lists the amount of witnesses there were to this random, out-of control crime.

Things quickly move from bad to worse and when Johnny finds out that he may serve a serious amount of jail time for kidnapping, he instructs his friends to kill Zach.

This movie is harsh and realistic but extremely sad. The story is told semi-documentary style and interviews the witnesses and participants as the story is being told. The storyline is a powerful, very realistic look at the account of a young boy who had the misfortune of being caught up in a web of murder, drugs, and sex. It is both maddening and tragic. The writing was lacking cohesion; it became choppy and failed to keep my attention at points. It may be worth seeing one time, but I would not watch it again.

For Voyeurs Only

In between watching copious amounts of YouTube videos involving Rollercoaster Tycoon terrorists, jazz players dancing to a dub over of Daft Punk, and charging an Ipod with an onion and Gatorade, I found myself watching a video that I hadn't seen in ages.

"The Mission" by a closet creative genius that goes by the user name, MickB0529 is one of three episodes in the "For Voyeurs Only" trilogy. The video is a montage of various movie clips, television snippets, and news footage with different voice clips and sound bites interspersed throughout.

His utilization of the Kuleshov effect, an observed effect during an experiment that shows the fact that "it is therefore not the content of the images in a film which is important, but their combination," is crucial to the piece. None of the video footage is his. None of the audio clips are his. But, in light of the Kuleshov effect, it is worthy to note that "the raw materials of such an art work need not be original, but are pre-fabricated elements which can be deconstructed and re-assembled by the artist into new juxtapositions." Nevertheless, the juxtaposition, sequencing, and editing make this a truly original work of art.

The video is gripping, raw, disturbing yet undeniably real. It takes you on a rollercoaster of emotions from disgusted and hopeless, feeling fearful but ultimately ending with a hopeful, uplifting and reflective tone. On the surface, the video may appear to be random video clips that have no bearing on the next set of random video clips. But each and every clip, regardless of length and content, is in there for a specific reason and they all work together systematically to make this video unique.

This is a perfect example of an artist who creates something for his own enjoyment, fulfillment and enlightenment, not someone creating something just to please the masses. For every ten people that dislike and dismiss this movie basing their judgments on shallow appearances, there is a person who fully immerses himself or herself into the video, is deeply moved by the piece, reflects upon it, and ultimately, walks away enlightened and changed, much the same way people struggle with seeing the bigger picture when reading literature but to those who do understand the bigger picture are able to learn things.

Describing the footage and audio of the movie would do little justice to the piece because it is not any individual clip that make this, rather the conglomeration of everything, uniting in harmony like the hundreds of instruments coming together perfectly in an orchestra. What is more important is the theme and the big picture. The theme of the first half is apocolyptic and dark, containing many images that only serve to support this reality.

Images of dogs being put to sleep in a poison gas tank and children with guns fill the screen. A city burns in the twilight. The chaos and destruction that was 9/11 and its ensuing aftermath of war is remembered instantly. Foreign to our western eyes, clips from Al-Jazeera show the executions and killings of hostages. Islamic fundamentalists mock the cries of a man about to be executed. An iconic clip shows several worms consuming a leaf which they eventually devour and are left with nothing to hold onto but the stem. The music begins slowly, escalating in combination with the footage, from slow and chilling to fast and jarring.

Suddenly, everything slows down and the screen is filled with a variety of movie footage showing great power and destruction from individuals. A man stands in front of a speeding bus and destroys it with his steadfastness, unwaivering, as if to say, "Enough, this must stop!"

In harmony with this, a mellow piano cues in and the video takes a turn towards a lighter tone. The viewer begins to see the destruction that was seen in the first half being reversed. The dust and debris disappear and the Twin Towers rise from their fiery graves. The plane flies out of the Tower and they stand tall and strong again. Clips from "United 93" and actual 911 calls from that day play. The viewer then hears the voice of someone ask George Bush, "Do you believe this, that the war in Iraq and the rise of terrorism are signs of the apocolypse?" to which he replies with a laugh and a befuddled "umm." The viewer then sees the dogs being taken out of the gas tank, living, a man freeing a wolf from a trap, compassion and conviction in his eyes, soldiers playing soccer with young Iraqis, connected by humanity. The worm clip plays in reverse revealing an abundant, healthy leaf. The sun dawns on the burning city as the flames die down and life is brought back. A soothing voice floods from the speakers,

"Everything we've done is forgiven. Everything."

Fades to black.

Fin.

Have hope.

Into the Room

If you read these directions you will end up in a different room than the one you are looking for, figuratively. This is my disclaimer that what you will find here, will not satisfy your two-and-a-half-hour trip. After I took this trip three years ago I found Wilmington is a place growing substantially in many aspects of city culture. With this in mind, the town is filled with older establishments; such as, the University of North Carolina. The college is having trouble keeping up with the large population increase and its impacts. An educational institution that should prides itself on fairness. I believe I might go as far as saying they are having trouble keeping promises. When all is said and done I guess it's all the same, but this is not why you are here. Your directions to room 206.

Find I-40 east in your city, prepared to drive for an unusually long two hours, there will be no sense of road trippin on this road. The interstate will be lined with the fields that are in turn lined with large pine trees. No getting lost here, you simply continue on the road I-40 when you will literally run into Wilmington. For less confusion I'll remind you that I-40 connects to South College, this is the road which connects you to the University of North Carolina at Wilmington college campus.

It's about a five minute commute once you are on South College before you reach the first turn, New Center this will in turn connect you onto Racine. Turn left off South College on to New Center for a brief moment, then take you will make a right onto Racine. It should be known that if you were to continue down South College you would be driving along what is referred to as the front of campus; however, for the purpose of making it to room 206 in Morton then New Center to Racine is the quickest way.

Once you are on Racine continue straight, and you will come up to the University. Welcome to your first encounter with Uncw. A four-way-stop light marks an intersection which Randall drive crosses Racine and can be considered as the "loop" for getting around the campus. You must drive straight through this intersection for the destination.

When you make it to a cul de sac-esque-car loop at the end of Raine drive. Realize that on your left there are two buildings, one of which is Morton, the building on the right of these two buildings.

You may park shortly at the island in the middle of the cul de sac. Take note: there is parking lot on the right, but you cannot park here unless you are faculty. Click on the cars four ways and everything is handy dandy.

Walk through the side doors and climb the stair case. They will lead you to the second floor, where you first walk through a lobby filled by the faculty offices on both sides of the hallway. Continue this walk and open the two doors which will lead you into a student waiting area or lounge with Pepsi and a Dasni refreshment machines are on your left. Continue until you are able to make a right where hallways intersect. After you turn right the room you are searching for will be found here. Room 206 will be on your left, two doors down from the intersection.

The Mother of all Pregnancy Movies

The movie’s title alone was enough to support my impulse buy. I am a big fan of random buys, especially when it comes to movies. I always make my way to Wal-Mart on Tuesday to see the new releases. I walked to the movie area, and my attention was quickly caught by the yellow case adorned with a smirking young man’s face. I had heard people talking about the movie Knocked Up before, so I figured that it could be worth checking out.

I couldn’t watch it that night, because my favorite TV show, House, comes on, but I did watch it on Wednesday night. As the movie started, I quickly realized that was not just about some girl getting pregnant. It is a true outright comedic adventure documenting the ins and outs of dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. I was doubtful of even watching this with my girlfriend because of my fear of commitment and her yearning for it. The movie stars Seth Rogen as the slacker, Ben, who participate in a night of debauchery with extremely successful career girl Alison, played by Katherine Heigl. I of course have seen the beautiful Katherine Heigl from her stint on the television show Grey’s Anatomy, but I was interested to see how Rogen played a high stakes role such as this one.

The two main characters meet at a bar where they are both going to celebrate completely different things. This one intoxicating evening highlighted by one unprotected sex act causes career girl Alison to get pregnant. Two months later Ben has the news broken to him by the extremely distraught Alison. Alison and Ben come to the conclusion that keeping the baby is the best thing. The two of them try to make things work out, more or less because Ben realizes that he is an extremely unattractive loser who has won an awesome chance with a great girl.

As their journey goes through many ups and downs, we witness the heartwarming representation of how love can grow and what we as human beings can do if we only believe. Of course I laughed my head off at the many hysterical moments fueled by Ben and Alison’s interaction with their co-stars and each other. This B-list All Star team shows that you don't have to have fart jokes, sex talk, nudity, extreme drug use and basic acts of debauchery to have a great comedy. So my suggestion is that if you haven’t seen this movie, run out and buy it. But I do give you a precautionary measure to take when you might watch this movie with someone who is opinionated and a little prudish. The movie does use explicit language and has scenes not appropriate for young viewers. So viewer discretion is advised. But if you are still interested in the movie, run out and buy it right now because you will laugh, you’ll cry and you’ll cherish this movie for years to come!

Children of Men

If you haven’t seen Alfonso Cuaron’s Children of Men, you’re missing out. The film is set in London, in the year 2027. No child has been born since 2009 due to certain illnesses and epidemics that plagued the world. A breakdown of societal functions across the globe leaves London the last refuge for the citizens of the world. The surge in refugees causes chaos in London and it isn’t long before war breaks out there too.

The government of London battles with media-labeled terrorists called the “Fishes.” The Fishes represent an underground movement to restore order to the society. Theo, played by Clive Owen, struggles to help a pregnant woman get out of the country. Their destination…a boat called the Tomorrow. The boat houses "The Human Project," a plan to rebuild the structure of modern society. The Fishes first house Theo and the pregnant women, but their plan to use the baby strictly as a propaganda tool to support their cause sends Theo on a wild ride with fate. With a little help from his friend, Jasper, played by Michael Caine, Theo works his way through a series of setbacks and becomes mankind’s one last chance for redemption. Michael Caine could form an onscreen chemistry with a brick wall. He adds a hint of amusement in this suspenseful film. Owen and Caine draw you into this film and make you wish they had more screen time with each other.
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The cinematography is brilliantly risky. Some shots were filmed for as long as six minutes without a cut away. The live action not only works to the film’s advantage but also displays the versatile abilities of the actors as well as the off screen special effects crew. The technology displayed is believable and realistic. As opposed to many futuristic movies, you will not see flying cars or laser operated weapons. The dialogue does seem to lack substance during a few scenes, but for the most part, holds an interest with the viewer.

Like any good film, this movie will keep you asking questions until the very end. Hollywood has a tendency to make the same movies over and over. Their idea is to keep on going with what works and not to complicate matters with farfetched ideas. However, it is the originality of this film that makes it stand out. If you’re looking for something different for night, Children of Men won’t disappoint. But make sure the kiddies are content with something else. Wait until they’re asleep or thrown on a Disney movie in a different room. Despite the R rating for violence, language, and some sexuality, the movie goes to the extreme, and makes a firm political statement, to show the possible outcome of a world without children. After all, if we can’t learn to take care of each other, how can mankind ever expect to survive into the next century?

The Weakerthans - Reunion Tour

With four years since their last release, I began scribbling down ideas for a eulogy. “When I first met The Weakerthans,” I would say to a flower-filled room full of mourners, chins quivering, hands consoling other hands, “they were such a talented group of young knucks. There is nothing more tragic than an untimely death.”

But alas, the good word was out.

I was driving home. It was late summer, the windows were down. Robert Siegel was on the radio interviewing some guru about the economy, or the job market, or something, when he announced the next segment: his plans to talk to John Samson, songwriter and front man for a band called The Weakerthans... Wait. What?

Could this be?

Did I hear him correctly?

Was All Things Considered really going to interview John Samson from The Weakerthans? Why would they do that? They’re just a little band from Canada. What do they have to do with Darfur or net neutrality? And they haven’t put out a c.d. in years… wait a minute. I rolled the windows up and turned up the volume to ensure maximum audibility.

I’m sure the interview was great. I’m sure Siegel asked some thought-provoking, Siegelesque questions (although I can’t actually picture him preparing for the interview, which would inevitably entail actually listening to The Weakerthans). I didn’t hear anything past Robert Siegel’s introduction, during which he (triumphantly, before a roaring crowd – in my mind) announced The Weakerthans’ status as a conscious, functioning entity whose latest creation would be available to the public (me) for purchase on September 25^th – less than a week before my birthday. And oh what a gift it would make.

“Reunion Tour” is the fourth full-length from the Winnipeg foursome – their second release on the independent-punk-rock-goliath Epitaph Records. Songwriter John Samson abandons his traditional personal narratives, and instead sings mainly in the first person from invented, yet very human, characters (save the return of his favorite feline friend).

The first track, "Civil Twilight," begins with an afflicted three-chord guitar riff, sounding like it’s been churned through the recently widowed machines of Robert Moog. But without fail, the straightforward, beautifully stripped-down sound of The Weakerthans comes pushing through. The lyrics begin with a frenzy of alliteration sung in a catchy, staggering melody: “My Confusion Corner commuters are cursing the cold away / as December tries to dissemble the length of their working day.” As the story unfolds, we learn of a brokenhearted bus driver who can usually keep his mind on his work, except during the time “between the sunset and certified darkness.” The driver’s ploys to forget his loss are foiled every day at “civil twilight,” despite his attempts to “calculate all the seconds left in the minutes” and “recite the names of provinces and Hollywood actors.” The lyrics tend to weave their way through the verses and choruses with some overlap that works to keep you listening in a strange the-next-line-has-started-before-I-have-comrehended-the-last-line kind of way. The bus driver’s thoughts somehow can’t keep up with the musical changes. But eventually he realizes he truly had time to keep up with his relationship, but let it slip away one day as the sun was setting – hence the vivid memories at dusk.

Samson’s lyrics are not only specific and calculated, but they rarely repeat themselves like the typical pop song, returning again and again to its catchy one-liner. His lyrics read more like a poem -- ever-evolving. He describes a room down to its most seemingly insignificant details, but will only reveal certain emotions of his characters. In this way adhering to Hemmingway’s iceberg theory, allowing you and me to fill in the 90 percent that lies below the surface. The cover of the album is an illustrated portrayal of a frozen lake with cracked blocks of ice floating along the surface. The lives of the characters within seem to imitate the disconnected nature of the ice, each with his or her own missing connections, alluding to an increasingly fractured and detached (perhaps post-modern) humanity.

Another standout song marks the return (and tragic departure) of Virtute the cat. On The Weakerthans previous album, Reconstruction Site, the song, "Plea From a Cat Named Virtute," tells the tale of a cat who has become fed up with her owner’s depression, anxiety and lack of motivation. It is told in the first person from the cat’s point of view (I know, isn’t that great?). By the end of the song, her relentless positive attitude presumably motivates her friend to change his life. Virtute’s song on the new album, "Virtute the Cat Explains Her Departure," is no less exhilarating than her first. Although, it’s ending is nothing short of devastating.

Overtop of a quiet, soft drumbeat and minimal guitar and bass, Virtute explains how the moon beckoned her away from home, and how she eventually lost her way. She reminisces about the times when she would “wait for you to arrive with kibble and a box full of beer,” and how “I’d kneed into your chest while you were sleeping.” Virtute admits that she would always return home because of a certain call, a tone, or as she puts it, “the song that you found for me.” But in the end, when she makes her way far away from home, left with only the memories of a life with her friend, the human, she sings over an increasingly climactic musical coda, heartbroken and lost… “But now I can’t remember the sound that you found for me.”

With a song about a man who sees Bigfoot, and is publicly shunned because of it; another about a farmer drinking away his time in a bar, pondering his broken marriage; and another about a lonely traveling businessman who hates his job, The Weakerthans' newest release allows us a glimpse into the lives of richly developed characters in the midst of their sorrow and pity. Some will make a turn for the better, others will not. To say the least – this album is not to be missed.

If their next release takes four years to materialize, I will wait patiently and keep my premature-eulogy-drafting materials at bay. It will be well worth the wait.

For anyone interested: www.theweakerthans.org

Now I Get It: It's Porky - And It's Also a Pine Tree; If Only I Could Visualize This Oddity.

I’ve been waiting for this. Fear Of A Blank Planet is not just a concept album, it is also a mind reading device that I feel completely justified in comparing to the one used in the video game Destroy All Humans; another possession of mine which is almost as “hip” and “jiving” as the subject of this review. Porcupine Tree's (PT's) newest release plays like a fifty-one minute composition comprised of six well transitioned movements, and I feel like anyone who has ever felt isolated can immediately relate to the first song (the title track).

The album’s title is inspired by Public Enemy’s album, Fear of a Black Planet. Instead of stressing bigotry and crackers and white cheddar cheesiness, the lyrics target all the most modern aspects of society including TV, MTV culture, prescription drugs, videogames and, of course, internet porno. These opiates numb the brains of the masses into inactivity and apathy, in a manner that is quite Marxian in nature. With their communist txt messaging and internet "BLOGS", the youth keep getting lazier and dumber, hence the “blank planet.” Like in the video game Destroy All Humans, assimilation is the current and primary goal, and while the future agenda is hidden, domination will probably transpire.

“Anaesthetize” is the strongest part of the album and features a guest solo from Rush guitarist Alex Lifeson. This eighteen minute epic builds in intensity until it peaks at about eleven minutes with double bass drumming and one of the crunchiest/most frenzied metal riffs on a PT song to date. It then dwindles back down into brooding vocals and sedative keyboard and guitar verses. Like when the credits are rolling in Destroy All Humans, this ending theme is totally “shweeet,” it just goes on too long, but not in a Brian Eno shoot-me-in-the-head-there's-nothing-happening kind of way, its really that i'm an anxious person, which makes the beginning of "Sentimental" that much more appreciated. It's not distasteful, it's tantric, like Destroy All Humans.

Although there are some great solos such as the aforementioned on “Anaesthetize,” and the one on “Way Out of Here” played by Robert Fripp of King Crimson, there could always be more. This is my only real criticism, that and I wish there had been some louder bass lines like they had in their last album, Deadwing. But this is still one of their best releases, and prog' greatness, indubitably; it takes at least 6+ times of thorough listening to fully absorb and notice everything. This is a creeper: it'll keep growin' on you.

The tone of this album is constantly depressing and dark. Upon first listen there are a few spots that don’t sound so dismal, like the slow down track “My Ashes,” but the lyrics prove otherwise. While this is not exactly uplifting it is appropriate for the theme of the album. In the last song “Sleep Together,” depraved mastermind Steve Wilson uses sex as a metaphor to describe the main character’s suicidal tendencies. The surreal rhythmic delay and wah effect on the guitar melody played throughout the whole song is well delivered and avoids redundancy; when in combination with just the drums and keyboard, it almost sounds like a fat slab of groove from a traditional but succulent techno dish. This song also contains the album’s best bass line, and the hypnotic violins are both powerful and calming.

Those who are just looking for the satisfaction obtained from loud distortion may be disappointed that they have to wait around for so long to reach that gratification. Ironically this idea fits in pretty well with the concept of the album: instant gratification; but I don’t think Wilson would object to responsible use of Destroy All Humans, or technical death metal, or the occasional pornographic masturbation session. I think its one of those moderation thingamajigs, which this album certainly is not; so in a way, its self-proclaimed catharsis. If forced by gunpoint or slingshot to compare this album to other band’s albums, I’d say its Lateralus meets Kid A. However PT has more studio albums than both Tool and Radiohead, and in my opinion has crossed more genres.

By the way, “dude,” if you’re a “hardcore” fan you might want to wait until they release this as a double disc, one of which will be a surround sound DVD most likely loaded with juicy bonus material. Wilson is notorious for his sound-mixing, guru-tripster "street creds," and the fact that my copy has not been truly crossfaded is somewhat depressing, not “Sleep Together” depressing; but still, I know it could be better, like Dark Side Of Oz at the Imax. I saw them in Raleigh recently, they put on a great show and the new music video’s are pretty "cool." If you’re throwing around mad bling like a true baller you might consider purchasing the PS2 video game Destroy All Humans while you are buying this double disc and pimping your way through Best Buy. Or you could purchase it all online while watching porn or Mtv.

This Is Sparta!

Visualize back to 480 BC. Thermopylae in central Greece, is where it all happened: invasion, defending, bloodshed, and courage. It was a very narrow mountain pass surrounded by cliffs and sea. Known as the Battle of Thermopylae, this historical conflict involved merely hundreds of Spartan men against the massive hundreds of thousands of Persians. King Leonidas of Sparta led his small force to the invading army of Persians led by emperor Xeres. While outnumbered, the Spartans still consistently slaughtered numerous Persians through their spirited and skillful abilities in attitude and battle technique.

Covered in heavy armor, with spear and shield always in hand, they fought like the warriors they were raised to be. Spartans are known for their expertise in skills of discipline, fighting, and strength. With absolute devotion, they dedicate their lives to and for their country. Young boys are taken into training at the age of seven to practice and build their body and character. Spartan women are much the same in their attitudes and abilities. Although some of the most beautiful, the women were also the toughest in spirit. Mothers often stated to their sons before battle, “Come back with you shield, or on it.”

When the movie 300 was introduced into theatres March of 2007, I wasn’t intrigued; I merely assumed it to be a violent history lesson on screen. I agreed to go see it after hearing the positive feedback from guy and girl friends. This movie changed my whole perspective on movies which remake significant historical events. 300 is a perfect balance of facts and knowledge with entertainment and action. The cast did an amazing job of creating the Spartan feeling and character.

The movie 300, based on a graphic novel by Frank Miller, captures all of these elements. The first five minutes of the movie, my eyes were fixated on the screen. The beginning scenes illustrate the Spartan values and lifestyles. The men, women, and children all take great pride in not just themselves but their country. King Leonidas portrays everything a leader should, and is also a wonderful husband and father. His interaction with his army is stern yet committed. The Spartan army is not just fellow soldiers but loyal friends. The dedication to both their homeland and to each other shows their character and culture.

Not only does it involve a thrilling clash in Greece, but the purpose of the battle instills lessons about dedication and persistence. Watching such few men fight with such great passion filled my heart with admiration. The movie shows specific examples of the advanced skill and intelligence the Spartans used in their tactics. Humor is tied in to many of their comments about the Persians and even death. Their bulging muscles and stomachs resembling washboards show off a lifetime of practice and training. The spears' penetration into various parts of the Persians flesh wasn’t repulsive but gratifying to watch. Usually I am sensitive to violence and bloodshed, but 300 made me want to see more. If it wasn’t for such an amazing story behind their purpose of fighting, it wouldn’t have been intriguing and exciting to watch.

While the men were at battle, the movie does not neglect what is happening back home in Sparta. The women’s outlook and actions towards the war and lifestyle were amazing and it made me admire their courage and involvement. You will find yourself feeling as if you are a Spartan yourself, yearning for victory in their pursuits for a greater Greece. With a touch of fantastical occurrences, the movie could appear fictional for some. However, this made it much clearer for the viewers to realize to what extent the army of 300 had to encounter. Not only was this enjoyable to watch as the story unfolds, but it builds the importance of this battle.

I would recommend this movie for any girl or guy from teens to adults. An entertaining story of an important period in history will engage you throughout the entire film. You won’t simply receive a Greek history lesson or watch men on men bloodshed. This movie is much deeper with astonishing acting and events. You will gain a new respect for Sparta and enjoy the fascinating techniques and characteristics they utilize as a way of life. It will also teach you it’s not about quantity, but quality.

Sources:

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/columnist/vergano/2007-03-05-300-history_N.htm

http://library.flawlesslogic.com/leonidas.htm

A Phantom Brings Broadway to Hollywood

A beautiful naïve young girl in need of rescue, a hero on a white horse, a villain with a hideous face, all the perfect fodder for a fairy tale – or movie. Diverse adaptations of Gaston Leroux’s gothic novel, The Phantom of the Opera, have been around since the early 1900s. In 1986 Andrew Lloyd Webber brought his variation of the story to the Broadway stage and then in 2005 his musical movie creation hit the big screen.

The rivalry between Hollywood and Broadway is as old as the movie business. When acting jumped from the stage to the set, the actors were caught up in a nasty divorce between the theater and movie business. There have been some attempts at reconciliation. Movies have been converted to plays and more commonly, plays have been brought to the big screen. Most of these attempts have fallen flat and left the audiences disappointed. Knowing this problematic history, Andrew Lloyd Webber took a chance and spent over ten years to bring Phantom of the Opera, his most successful stage production, to the big screen.

His efforts paid off in a big way. Not only did the movie gross well at the box office, it spun off a large merchandising market that has covered its pricey production expenditures, the highest ever for an independent film. More importantly the story transitioned beautifully from stage to screen because of its experienced production crew and talented actors.

Andrew Lloyd Webber personally selected Joel Schumacher to direct his film. The veteran director of such hits as The Lost Boys, Batman and Robin, A Time to Kill and Phone Booth also co-wrote the screenplay with Webber. It is this collaboration that created the perfect environment to make a successful movie.

Schumacher knew the opening scene was crucial in creating the same rich, visually sensual mood for the movie as is felt with the stage production. From the opening credits, the viewer is swept into the backstage story of the French theater of the late 1800’s. The soundtrack is what carries the film. The heavy rock beat interlaced with classical opera provides the backdrop for most of the dialog. The actor’s voices are perfectly suited for the parts they play.

Gerard Butler, recently seen in the movie adaptation of the graphic novel 300, plays the title character with finesse and sensuality. His unrequited love for Christine drives him to madness which eventually destroys the theater. Butler presents these complicated emotions convincingly, stirring the conflict for the viewers as they simultaneously both sympathize with him and hate him.

Equally as strong in performance is Patrick Wilson who made the leap from Broadway after being nominated for a Tony Award for his role in The Full Monty. A classically trained vocalist, he shows his talent in the love scene with a flawless performance of the song "All I Ask of You."

Conveying emotion convincingly is pivotal to the film and the ability to do this is the only flaw in Emmy Rossum’s performance as the heroine Christine. The actress, just fifteen at the beginning of the filming, truly is the “voice of an angel,” but she struggles to deliver the conflicted emotions of a woman torn between two men. The scenes where she must speak lines and act out emotion without musical accompaniment fall a bit flat and drag. When the music begins again, as it does frequently throughout the movie, Rossum takes back her presence.

A wonderful cast of supporting characters adds color and spice to the storyline. The only well-known actor in the movie is Mimmie Driver and she gives a humorous and outstanding performance as the aging opera diva. She also voices the only song created just for this movie.

The storyline is a simple which is what makes the music such a powerful part of this movie. Set as an operetta, with over eighty percent of the script sung instead of spoken, the musical score had to be clear and understandable. The technical direction in this area is essential and hits the mark. The plot is so finely tuned with the lyrics that the viewer often forgets they are listening to everything being sung instead of spoken. The movie is unique in its ability to expose an audience probably unfamiliar with the particular genre of opera in such a way that it is understandable and accessible.

The one big disappointment was that of the Masquerade scene. In the play the costumes were breathtaking taking in every color in the spectrum. Instead the movie played the scene in gold, black and white scene. Technically it worked but it failed to present the pivotal highlight that was needed to transition the conflict.

For a screen adaptation, this was the best that could be done. While there is not a movie made that can bring the feeling of the theater to the screen, this version of the Phantom of the Opera came close. The powerful music stirred the soul and brought the emotion forward. When the screen darkened and the credits rolled the audience was still and quiet for a moment and then broke out in applause. While Phantom of the Opera might not go down as a blockbuster hit, it deserves praise as one of the best transitions from Broadway to Hollywood.

Sources:

internet movie database

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0293508/

Phantom of the Opera -- Warner Brother's Offical Site

http://phantomthemovie.warnerbros.com/

Twilight

Twilight is the best book I have read this year. It keeps you enthralled with its surprising twists and suspense. Each page is better is than the last. The book starts off with Bella, a city girl, who is deciding to move to Forks, Washington to live with her dad. When she arrives, she takes a while before she fits in with the other students and the town. The first chapter gets you hooked because Bella is so relatable. You can put yourself in her place. As you keep reading, the tone of the book changes unexpectedly and you realize there is more to Forks then Bella realized.

One day while she is in the cafeteria at school, she notices a table with the most beautiful humans she has ever seen. Their skin is pale but they carry almost an angelic look about them. She is particular engrossed with the one called Edward. Here the book picks up pace and curiosity starts flowing. Who are these humans? The author provides just the right amount of details to capture your interest. Later in the week, a tragic accident occurs which leaves Bella in a frantic state of mind. She suspects Edward is a vampire. After hours of Edward's denial about his secret, he finally confesses that he is in fact a vampire.

Despite Edward’s longing for Bella’s blood, they become friends. The plot thickens as Bella realizes that she is in love with Edward. It seems impossible for them to be together since her life would always be in danger. Bella chooses to ignore her danger and trust him. Everything seems to be going well until a group of foreign vampires arrive in town. Edward and his family have a made a pact not to feed on humans, but the other vampires have not. The foreign vampires catch the scent of Bella and immediately want to hunt her. Edward’s sister takes Bella and flees the town to run from them, while Edward is left to fight them off. The foreign vampires swear to never stop hunting Bella. So what will happen to Bella and Edward? Will they survive?

Well, you must read the book yourself to find out. Twilight contains the perfect blend of suspense, romance, and comedy. Once you start reading it, it is impossible to put it down. I found the book so intriguing that I read it again the very next day. It gives a new meaning to originality. The secrecy of the vampires, the hopeless love, and the hidden danger makes this book a must-read. The descriptions of the vampires are unbelievable. The author does an incredible job of creating details that allows the reader to picture the scenes. You will not be sorry. So ladies, grab a cup of hot cocoa and a warm blanket--men, go get comfortable in your favorite recliner, and get ready for a suspenseful journey with Twilight.

Relationships...

Relationships are easily made but hard to keep. Many types of relationships engulf many aspects of our lives. Whether or not we think we are social butterflies, the never-ending circle of relationships that we make and break in our life rules our lives. Through these lives that we live, we meet many people. Some of these people quickly earn that relationships status. Some of these relationships that we faction are there from the beginning (i.e. parents, grandparents, and siblings).

I am finally getting back to my house this morning. One of my most prized relationships ended early Sunday morning. My grandfather, aka ‘Papa’ has passed away. I was awakened early Sunday morning by a phone call from my father who was requesting me to hurry to my grandparents’ house. We had all been taking turns staying there to help him in the night. He was bed ridden and needed help feeding himself and other things that it takes a man to completely humble himself to ask help for. But on this morning my dad needed me to help pick my grandfather up in the bed, because he felt like he was choking.

When I walked into the house I feared the worse, but I was trying to remain optimistic. I couldn’t hide my fear after I saw my five-foot-tall grandmother crying at the hospital bed that we had shipped to his house. We did our best to help him get straight in bed, but it was too late. I watched as my best friend and grandfather left our earthly realm. As the varying collection of people who stopped at my grandparents’ house yesterday, I noticed a trend. I saw that it's not how many relationships that you get in your life, but the quality of the relationships that you have.

My grandfather was obviously a loved man, because of the vast variety of people who visited him during his sickness and the family afterwards. The majority of the people who stopped to offer their condolences today were not just family. They were people whom my grandfather had formed varying relationships with over the years. Whether these relationships were constant, or merely just an influence that has lasted throughout the ages, story after story was told.

This makes me wonder how and why certain relationships last. These relationships are probably continued because both person’s lives keep them intertwining throughout the years. So how do we make the relationships we have better? One thing that you can do to continue a relationship of any kind, is to act unto that person the way that you would want to be treated. I know that the Golden Rule has become a cliche, but it has aspects of truthfulness. If you want someone to treat you a certain way, your best bet is to treat him or her in that way.

I know that my grandfather was a good man, and by the many stories that I heard yesterday, I know that he treated people with kindness. He gave and gave and didn’t expect anything in return. This love of people has carried over to his children. It will carried on from his children to their children. And I hope that through observing the way a relationship should be, that I go through my life producing the best relationships that I can because of the example that I had set forth for me.

A Piece of My Relationsihp with Writing

If I try to analyze relationships as a novice writer is the same as a baby talking about the theory of relativity. I'm not a doctor, but I might consider my self a writer. Successful, probably not. I enjoy it and this is all that matters for me. I can sit down and have a conversation with a hidden alter ego then watch it come alive on paper (Does that mean because my thoughts aren't on paper or screen that they're dead?). Some of the biggest hurdles in writing are overcome by constant practice, as they are in most aspects of life. For myself the problem lies in lack of motivation about certain subject matter. I also feel the subjective attitude in writing is an issue, who is to assume the position of expertise in writing. Just two things I have trouble agreeing with, but I respect a good piece like anybody else.

When I write I sit my room facing a window, it's where I look when I try to focus and catch some of the "interesting" thoughts in the inside. I translate them into my hand which does the majority of the writers grunt work.

Writing's great because its free, free in the sense that I never have to get anything from somebody else to do the act. Like the saying goes freedom does comes with a price. The pressure of trying to create these interesting and creatively unique prose, well its not exactly easy. Figuring out what sets you apart and what makes me realize if I should have the wits for creativity is a muck-stuck trap. I often times find it hard to squeeze out of that trap of autonomy which writing puts me in.

Side note on the reality of writing:
The creation that comes from sitting back, recounting the steps, visualizing the final content, it's all part of it. Well I wonder what actually goes into these thoughts: a few like, where they come from, and how I'm thinking about such ideas and why. Real deep introspective kind of stuff, right? What constitutes the actual reality of what writing things down and if I mean them to be true.

Note on research of introspection:
Insight bred by research into these alternate tangent thoughts sometimes shows something new. While I am wondering or researching events or conceptual ideas that will illuminate some low lit dungeon of individualism where the idea rest- up there, this is where the knights in shinning armor are constantly searching for their princess.

Note on topic areas:
They're are supposed to be the brain children of unique and individual creativity muse; unfortunately, these little balls of topic light usually don't contain what I'm looking for.

Wishful thoughts for a flawless style create an interesting motivation. When I feel like writing I'm tragically distraught, it's really damn subjective. The pieces I write usually aren't part of some sort of meaningful puzzle, there's no sense of oneness intertwined between these topic areas. Best put, I'm definitely not always writing at my fullest potential, my mind could be heavily weighing in on bigger problematic issues I might be going through at the time. These issues do what stress is best at, cloaking. The cloaks created by stress dampen the muse attitude.

With out the worry about the technical process' in writing interaction. During the process I am allowed a break to utter my indifference's. This the healing power in writing gives me positive vibes, that's cliche?

Writing in turn offers me an ambitious attainable outlet where I can shovel the shit I think of out of my brain onto blank space. Life would be good to have a secure place in the world of writing. Assuming it I could come up with the patience to survive the writing process all the time. One last thing, the philosophical undertones in my prose don't yet offer insight for the educated.

Too Busy

Wind. Moonlight. Stars blink. A wave marks its path along the silent beach, leaving sea foam and shells in its wake, changing but constant. I sit quietly, contemplating why I sit here alone and think how my relationship has come to this point. The first date was marked with a quick meeting and then a drive to the beach, laughing, talking. I shift uncomfortably, reseating myself on the dune, the sand contouring to my jeans, reminded that there used to be someone sitting next to me when I would come to the beach. I got up, walked parallel to the water, baby waves teasing my naked feet, jeans rolled up now to escape the clutching fingers of the water. Not too long ago, I had walked in the company of someone else.

The first date or the beginning of the end?

No matter how hard I may have tried, I cannot escape the memory of what once was. The first date, the angst, the excitement, the adrenaline, all came rushing back to me when I walked along the beach alone that night, thinking, where could it have gone wrong? Everything seemed perfect, too perfect, setting the stage for the second date. I stood there and listened, hearing every word that was said and taking the bad and things that made me uncomfortably as sternly as possible. In retrospect, I settle a lot. Why do I do that?

Compromise only goes so far in a relationship. Non-negotiable items are put on the table whereas before, I would never give them a second thought. Now they are at the forefront. In the final throes of a divorce? No way. Have kids, a 2-year-old? Possibly. I do want kids of my own, but not right now. Here I am at square one, letting someone walk into my life that has all the things I did not want to deal with right now. After all, I still need to finish school and I have a possible military career I need to worry about. I can’t age prematurely worrying about someone else’s baggage right? Or is that part of growing up? Is that something that should be compromised on? Odds are, probably not. It’s called settling.

Despite only being 25, I have learned a healthy amount about relationships. I’ve been told to save the passion and the love for when I get older and I need someone to fill that void. One night stands only go so far to fill that void, as does a friend with benefits. Those are for people who don’t want to invest the time and energy into something real, who haven’t quite gotten over their selfish bit yet. I know because I am one of them. As a result, I often settle for trying to date someone who causes me to compromise or sacrifice more than is necessary and fair to me. Yes, I say that I am selfish, but in reality, I am the one who gives up the most. All of this happens because my desire to be happy overshadows any fair logic. I settle, once again.

The final question is - when is it time to step out of the mundane and break the mold? Before I deploy might be a good time, but then again, I have too much going on in my life to worry about something serious.

Make yourself

One day, you'll wake up and it will all make sense to you. I've been absolutely tormented in the relationship department for the past two years. It's ranged from insecurity to anger and disappointment. I spent hours wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Why wouldn't it work? What was I doing wrong?

Turns out what was wrong with me ... was what was wrong with me. The constant negative thoughts and self-doubt never gave me a chance.

I adopted the law of attraction about a year ago, which is basically that a positive attitude brings more good things to you and negativity breeds misfortune. To achieve positive results, you have to ‘get clear.’ Getting clear is defining your goals and beliefs while being completely honest with yourself. The problem with getting clear is that deep down in your brain, you’ve taken record of all of the positives and negatives that have ever come from relationships you’ve been in. Though you may say you’re over those things, your mind will subconsciously cause you to sabotage yourself in order to keep life simple.

The roadblock that I created for myself in relationships was based on the fact that my biological parents had the worst relationship on the planet. Their nightly domestic violence ended in a messy divorce and my mom leaving with me. Deep down in my mid, I knew all of the things that happened. I didn't want to give myself a chance to end up in that situation.

It happens all the time, when you don’t even realize it. You can be on a perfect date with someone you’re very interested in, when suddenly, subconscious fear says ‘Hey buddy, it’s time for me to screw this one up for you.’ Three seconds later, you find the story of how you got drunk and hooked up with three girls in one night rolling out.

As she stares back at you with her mouth gaping open, subconscious desire is having a victory parade around your head and screaming, “Wooo! Listen to how much of an intolerable asshole you are! Pour it on, baby. Talk about your resume. Comment on her cleavage. We’re not even giving this girl a chance to rip your heart out. You’ll thank me later when you’re at home alone playing Playstation.”

Another of my old favorites was to find a girl who is genuinely interested, then analyze until you find a flaw that makes her undateable.

Realizing that you’ve been sabotaging yourself isn’t an easy thing to do. You have to sit down and open up those boxes that you tucked deep within your mind, full of all the negative stuff, and find which box is holding the fears. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that you’re unable to grasp a concept that billions of other people apparently have no problem with. When you finally do find that box of terror, usually located around other boxes of terror that you hadn’t even considered, you have to analyze yourself.

What I found was pretty interesting. I found that the person that I was when I arrived at college has long since been hidden behind a wall of bullshit. After getting in and out of a terrible relationship within my dorm freshman year, I had to change for my own sanity. Having many mutual friends, I knew that every time I walked by someone in the dorm they had judged me based on my situation with the ex-girlfriend. Then came times where I’d feel completely isolated because I knew that those same ‘friends’ didn’t believe my side of the story. There were times that I had to hold in a lot of my emotions because I knew that some of those people would reveal secrets no less than two minutes after I told them.

That led me to where I was -- afraid of revealing my emotions because I had an irrational fear that they’d use it against me when our relationship ended. Another problem lies within that, because I went into every relationship with the idea that it would end on bad terms. I’m not saying that I want to get married -- but how are things supposed to go if you’re thinking about the end before it’s started?

I’ve made some big changes in my life recently. I’ve cut out some people that I didn’t think were fitting in well anymore and I’ve taken the time to finally get clear with myself. I’ve pushed aside all of those things and I’ve taken down the walls.

I’m ready to feel all of those things again, finally. I’ve come to realize that a relationship won’t make or break you. Only you can make or break yourself.

The not-so-secret way to keep a long distance relationship going

I am currently in a long distance relationship. I'm not talking the next city over or the next state over. I mean a hard-core-thousands-of-miles-away-in-a-whole-other-country kind of distance. This past year, I lived in London, England. It was an amazing experience that I'll never forget. Because of this, I have full intention of reliving it over and over again. After graduation I plan on moving to England for the culture, the jobs, and, most of all, my boyfriend.

I haven't been in many relationships, but they were strong and long. People seem to have a relationship personality that they repeat every time they enter into one. There are the types that see each other on the weekends because they're so busy. There are types that hang out every once in a while pretty consistently. And there are the types that practically move in with one another. That would be me. So one can imagine how hard it is to go from being with someone all the time to just talking the phone when our time zones allow it.

When it came time for me to come home from my year abroad, relationships all around me were falling apart. I knew many other exchange students that had fallen for an English man or woman and decided keeping it going would be too much work. For me and Matthew, however, that was out of the question. This begs the question: do long distance relationships really work? I believe that they can work only if visitations are possible. It is too much a strain on the heart and mind to go longer than five or six months apart, especially if the relationship is still new. Matthew and I had been dating for seven months when I had to move back to America. I visited him for ten days in October, most of which were spend with a writing class. Then I'm staying with him for almost a month in December. He will visit during his spring break (England gets a month off) and I'm moving to England in June.

It's planning like this that makes a successful long distance relationship. Communication is the key aspect of keeping the love between two people. Talking once a day or more than once a day is a must and it's easily possible with programs such as Skype. This is a free program where anyone can call anywhere in the world for almost nothing or free if the other person has Skype.
If there isn't enough trust in the relationship it will fail. When it's so difficult to know what my significant other is doing, it would easy to be paranoid. But I have to tell myself and Mathew that I trust him 100%. If it were any less than it wouldn't be worth doing.

When I talk to Mathew I always feel better about myself, about us, and about my life. Everything looks a little brighter and I’ll always be in a better mood. He’s witty and light, but knows how to challenge me and have fiery discussions. He’s made it clear that academics come before having an all-night chat, so our relationship is healthy and forgiving.

I've been hurt in the past, so I surprised myself when I decided to keep going. I don't regret getting into something that had the potential to hurt me. I'm lucky that it didn't and I feel that even if it did, it was, as they say; better to have loved than never to have loved at all.

Eyes Wide Shut: No dream is ever just a dream

A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what's behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later. – Stanley Kubrick

What is more frightening, having to wear a mask or what is indeed under that mask? Eyes Wide Shut, Kubrick’s final and most haunting film is a journey into the mind of a Bill Harford, played by Tom Cruise, who after hearing his wife’s fantasy of being with another man sends him into a journey to cheat on her. He roams the streets to escape from his fear being undesirable to his wife and along his path is offered sex by a prostitute whom Bill considers in order to get even. There are masks on the wall of her apartment – maybe to show she is more honest about her sexual exploits than the affairs of married couples. She is shown in full view. Most striking is Tom Cruise’s transformation into the classic character Dante as he journeys into hell with the aid of Virgil (Sydney Pollack). Kubrick’s use of lighting and cinematography is impeccable as many of the shots are done with a dolly which is one of the hardest to perfect.

What separates this film from so many others is its realistic characters. None are overpoweringly heroic or clear protagonists or antagonists. One might view Cruise’s Bill Harford as a protagonist and Sydney Pollack’s character Victor Ziegler who represents Virgil as the antagonist but that would deny their developed and rounded characters. No one is particularly virtuous or morally deficient. It is more of a difference of levels of morality than simple on and off switches between who is virtuous and who is immoral. The dialogue is pleasantly restrained from pretension and theatrics. No snappy one-liners or eloquent speeches are used here. Instead we get real people who talk like we all do. There problems are much deeper and, painful, though they stem from moral decay.

Bill Harford, although a successful doctor is bored with routine, his wife and lifestyle. Anything different would open his life up. Alice Harford played by Nicole Kidman goes through this tormentous affair as well; she takes care of the kid, cooks dinner and fixes the house. They are comatose in an existence where they both are successful and suppose to be happy. After meeting an old friend from medical school who is now a pianist Bill sees him write a password for a gig he will play at. Intrigued, Bill gets where the location is being played from his weak friend.

The next scene has Bill enter a mansion that holds a secret ritualistic orgy to initiate new women and entertain the onlookers. Everyone is masked including the sexual participants. The sex scenes in the film are detached, impersonal, cold and clinical. The famous orgy sequence features all masked guests at their party to protect their identities. These men are powerful including politicians, doctors and elite aristocrats. The guests arrive in limos and gain entry to the giant mansion, the password – “Fidelio.”

This scene can be seen as the second layer of hell designated for the lustful according to Dante’s Inferno. Virgil (Sydney Pollack) sees him and a woman escorts him and tries to get him to leave because he is in danger. After leaving the mansion by being discovered as an uninvited guest he is called by Victor Ziegler (Sydney Pollack) mysteriously. He tells Bill that he saw him at the party and the whole thing was a charade.

Eyes Wide Shut has Christmas trees in almost every scene. This may be since the Illuminati use a symbol similar to it as seen in the dinner party. It is an eight pointed star with a triangle and circle in the middle that is suppose to be an “eye.” Christmas is hardly mentioned in the film and it really serves no purpose as a plot point so the Christmas tree is most likely occult symbolism.

The main conflict that arises in the film is that of intent and action. Harford intends to cheat on his wife and goes as far as entering a prostitute’s room to get even but chance strikes as he suddenly gets a phone call from his wife. Does he not have sex with the prostitute because he genuinely loves his wife or because fear shakes him in this awkward situation? Alice Harford intended to cheat on the marine at the dinner where she and her husband were but didn’t. Are they both repulsive for wanting something but not going through with it? That is up to one’s own moral compass. The film is about morality and the sex, power and trust are just tests of how strong one’s morality is.

The ending shows that after Bill confesses to Alice of where he went and what were his intentions that there relationship was reduced being just sexual after the trust was gone. This is Kubrick’s most haunting film that is expertly crafted and deeply layered. It is one of his best films along with 2001: A Space Odyssey.

10/10

Works Cited

Stanley Kubrick: A Life in Pictures

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtZLPwWt_IM

http://www.visual-memory.co.uk/amk/doc/0096.html

Don't Take My Wife - Please

I will never forget the summer of 2007.

She wore a simple white gown and a glow like the moon – soft, illuminating the night. We were married beneath two magnolia tress by a reverend named Fish who wore shoes adorned with colorful flames. We had dinner with all of our friends and family in the entire world; everyone we knew and cared about was under one summer sky. We left six hours later for Mexico, Belize and Grand Cayman. The jungles of mountainous bamboo, the beaches clear and vast, and the busy markets all breezed past – clear and remarkable, yet intangible like a puff of smoke.

We returned home and went about our lives as newlyweds – staying in on Friday nights, the baby-talk, the quick trips to the store that we took together because neither wanted to be without the other.

With a new consciousness of marriage and its role in society and how we would arrange ourselves within that mysterious world, I began to notice things. Something strange had burrowed its way into the DNA of American culture. We returned to a home that was surprisingly cynical toward our new life.

The sitcom has been around as long as television and has carried with it the same jokes from a half a century ago. In the ‘50s, Ralph wanted to send Alice “to the moon.” Haven’t we grown up since then? Tune in to an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond or The King of Queens to find out. The sad answer: no. Fictional men are complaining about their fictional wives more now than ever. The “ball-and-chain” joke is a staple on many television shows. Hasn’t our humor evolved? I assume the sad crew of so-called “redneck” comedians has their share of material on the matter.

One black-and-white comedian supported an entire career on one line – “Take my wife—please.” It’s unfortunate that his jokes didn’t die when he did.

Bumper stickers claim to know a lot about marriage: men don’t like listening to their wives talk, men prefer their dogs over their wives, men often trade their wives for guns and boats and fast cars, men stay married because it’s too expensive to get divorced, men offer rewards for missing dogs but not for missing wives, and on and on and on. These stickers are usually wedged delicately between a flapping confederate flag and a cartoon character urinating on something.

As men across America roll around in their favorite chairs, basking in the glow of their televisions and laughing at the prospect of punching out their wives, or giving them away to some mysterious charity, their wives try to remember the moment when they were turned against.

“You’re a newlywed,” they might say. “Just wait – give it a couple of years and you’ll be laughing with the rest of us.” “It’s just a joke,” others might say. “Lighten up.”

I guess I just don’t get it. Passive-aggressive people make jokes about truly deeper issues. This must be the case with bumper stickers and sitcoms and movies and any other platform for these thoughtless jokes. I think we need to peel the stickers off our cars, cut the cable wires and spend a little more time with each other. And if that doesn’t work just call a divorce lawyer.

Across the Universe

There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.
- Dante

Why is it that the people closest to our lives can bring us both pain and happiness? As adults, we all have the same capabilities to make the decisions in our own lives. Why then, do we subject ourselves to even the possibility of suffering by allowing other human beings to infiltrate our lives? This is a question with many answers. Perhaps it is simply the notion of living in the realm of loneliness, or maybe we don't consider ourselves "complete" without the companionship of another. Whatever the answer may be, there is little doubt that even deep within the heart of the most isolated being, the flame for belonging burns tirelessly.

I tell myself that times have changed, that everyone is lost; we're all searching for a person who could add meaning to it all. I tell myself these things every day but I know that if I can't find meaning within my own life then nobody could ever make me whole. And maybe we are all lost. We're drifting through space on a rock that, from the larger picture, is no bigger than one fish in the sea. We cling to others to help us find the answers, to sort through the rubble of whatever wars have ravaged the landscape our soul.

The world is a confusing place. Millions have been slaughtered because of differences in religion, and the truth is that nobody ever finds out who's right until it's too late. The wealthy in society flourish, while the lower classes struggle to breathe. Children are dying as we speak. Everybody is faced with the challenge of finding their own way to cope with the utter chaos. So we build relationships. We find people who can listen to us, who can understand us. It is through these people that we draw our conclusions about the mysteries of the generations. These people, whether husbands, wives, friends, or neighbors, play the part of the shadow characters in our lives. Without them, our lives are empty and our views dark and icy.

My nights are sleepless. It doesn't matter if my girlfriend is lying next to me or not. I find myself outside at 3 a.m., smoking a cigarette and staring at the stars with a wondrous eye. It's been like this for years. Despite my emotional attachments and despite the people who have helped shape my life, the questions I have about my existence can never and will never be answered by anyone but myself. So why do I need other people in my life? I need them there because they can offer things that I can't obtain by myself. They make me smile; they can take my cynicism and turn it to hope. We all draw our own conclusions based on our own experiences. And while religion and ethics will be debated forever, we as members of the human race, have the power to choose our own destinies by deciding what it is we perceive as the truth. It's because of our relationships that we have these powers.

Give The Kind of Love You Want to Get

Being in a relationship, be it romantic or just friend/family-based, is like taking a journey with another person. Growing up, I remember always hearing the phrase "doing life together," and it serves as a perfectly simple definition of what a healthy relationship should be. Personally, I have several standards--keys if you will--to guide me in doing my best in avoiding missteps along the path of life I travel with another.

Honesty, obviously, should permeate ever inch of a relationship. How can you really love someone, truly find happiness, if you can't look the person you care about in the eyes and say, "You're being selfish," or "I don't like it when you treat me this way"? Honesty isn't easy because you want the person you're involved with to know you on a deeper level than most others know you. You want to feel that you can count on that person to be supportive, to respect you despite the stupid things you do when you've had too much to drink or had a bad day at work. While honesty is important throughout a relationship, it is essential at the beginning. The start is such a thrilling yet vulnerable time and there are so many instances in which I've completely ignored issues that were apparent from the start--mysteries about the other person that I marked as intriguing rather than troubling--but that, in time, began to eat away at our bond from the inside out. I've found it's best to just be upfront about the things that bother you. If you "can't stand superficial people," don't start dating someone notorious for saying "This conversation is waaaay too deep for me," or "I think I'm a Democrat. Wait a minute, let me call my dad."

But even in the right relationship, the person you love will say things and do things that drive you up the wall. I am most guilty of doing this. I often speak and act without thinking. I am selfish with my own opinion, feelings. Just because something sparks a sudden surge of emotion within me doesn't give me the right to interrupt or to offend someone else. I possess an impulsive personality that gets me in trouble on a daily basis--at home, in class, at work. I'm working on these things, but as I struggle I am desperate for forgiveness. And the willingness to forgive and forget are two primary elements of a healthy relationship. Accepting that everyone makes mistakes and in turn deserves a second, a third, a twentieth chance is the only way to survive one of the countless arguments that take place in any relationship. It's easy to let resentment build within you and fester until it becomes a hateful bitterness that will destroy a relationship. That's why it's essential to learn to let things go. Show others the grace that you would want to be shown to you. That kind of love is the purest possible.

The feeling you get when that love is given to you is indescribable. Having to put up with me on a daily basis, my boyfriend is one of the most understanding and caring people I have ever met. I look at him sometimes after I've done something careless, and I am overwhelmed by his ability to just smile-- to laugh off the awkwardness and the frustration that we've probably created out of stress, or misunderstanding. He has taught me that a sense of humor is the only way to get by. You can refuse to give in and be upset until everyone you care about has left you--or you can accept that, most of the time, you can't control the situation. If it's not up to you--what else is there to do than laugh about it with someone you care about?

So I've learned to smile with contentment when things are good. To laugh when they're not so great. And to be thankful, each day, to be breathing alongside someone who, even in my messiest moments, loves me simply because of who I am.

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Red Flags

“Do you promise that you are telling me the truth?” I whispered. He stared into my tear-filled eyes and stated, “I promise! I love you! I want to be with you! Why would I mess that up?” My heart jerked as I saw his face contorted with heartfelt pain. Maybe he is not lying. He loves me. He wouldn’t cheat on me. After a minute of silence, I hesitantly replied, “Okay, I believe you.” His smile lit up his face as he reached forward to hug me. I thought that the situation was done. I thought I could trust him.

A week later, the truth came out. My boyfriend of a year had been lying to me our entire relationship. I knew our relationship wasn’t perfect, but I never thought that someone could be so dishonest. I shouldn’t have ignored the red flags. They would pop up in my mind throughout our relationship questioning his actions or words. One night he told me that he would call me after work which was 10:00 pm. He did not call me until 3:00 the next morning. I was sick with worry thinking that he had gotten into an accident because He wasn't answering his phone. His excuse was that he was stressed and went running. Red Flag. Even though situations would occur where his honesty was questioned, I swallowed it or just chose to believe him. Even if what he was saying did not make any sense at all. The trust in our relationship was never a sure thing but it should have been.

A relationship can not grow without a foundation of trust. Not trusting someone allows doubts and uncertainties to fill your mind. You are constantly wondering if that person is doing what they say. You want to believe them because you think that they love you but deep down you realize that you don’t trust them. I really loved my boyfriend which is why I chose to ignore my doubts. But the reality is people can’t expect to communicate efficiently or learn about each other unless they do have a level of trust. The level of trust only grows deeper as time passes. If you start a relationship off without a base of trust then where can your relationship go?

Trust allows you to feel secure with the knowledge that no matter what happens, you will know the truth. You can be free to be yourself. You can be free to go throughout your day without having doubts and fears flow through your mind. That is not to say that they won’t because we are all human and we all doubt. But you can counteract them with the fact that you do trust the person you’re with and it helps your doubts disappear. Since I didn't have that type of relationship with my boyfriend, I was miserable. I would constantly stay up late at night and worry that he was being dishonest. I knew deep down that something was wrong, but I loved him and didn't want to confront it.

After finding out about all the lies, I broke up with my boyfriend. I was tired of feeling betrayed and anxious all the time. Through that experience I’ve learned that if I don’t trust someone then there is no point to having a relationship. I don't know why people lie but I do know that I don't want a relationship with someone who does. There are plenty of people in the world that value trust and honesty as much as I do so I shouldn't waste time on those who don’t. Trust is the foundation of every relationship so make sure that you have it from the beginning. Also, don't ignore the red flags.

Therapeutic Advice And Exciting Stories With Dr. John

I am not good with relationships, and the longest relationship I have been in only lasted about three months, but I will share what I have learned anyway. Girls make life a lot more interesting, the highs are more intense and the lows are that kind of crawl-in-a-hole-and-cry kind of mess that you hear about in emo songs. Maybe I’m “whipped,” but I never plan anything so girls always seem to put structure in my life; in the same way an extracurricular activity would, except with more benefits.

One thing I have noticed to be fairly universal amongst the female population is that you should not always buy things for them, never buy all their drinks or pick up their tabs. Not only is this expensive, they assume that you are so desperate for a connection that you think you can buy it. You are not obligated, so don’t: chivalry died around the same time that Elvis did. Some things are just curteous, like opening the door for someone, but paying for a girl's shit is just stupid. Women will lose respect for you while taking your money mercilessly, and what’s worse is that they begin to take it for granted.

The same goes for compliments. The compliment is a double edged sword, it can brighten a woman’s day and put a smile on her face, or it can be meaningless and have adverse effects for you. Don’t necessarily bite when she fishes for compliments. You must smile whenever you give a compliment and speak with confidence or else it is not taken seriously, and you can’t always compliment a girl. Only if she really deserves to be complimented, for example, if she’s obviously spent a long time getting ready, or if she’s done something new with her hair, and you like it. If you give too many compliments they start to lose their value, and they will not take your opinion as seriously, its inflation. Also I believe that most women are socially (or maybe genetically) programmed to please men. Not that everything women do is to please men, I am not really that deluded or chauvinistic, but if you are always complimenting them on the things they do or the way they look, even when they don’t deserve it, then it satisfies their man-pleasing quota for the day or week and you lose influence in the invisible balance of power. For example if she always thinks she looks good, then she won’t try as hard to look good or please you.

One thing that is really annoying is that girls never understand how much I care. I can understand that they probably assume that just because I don’t always show my emotions as much as they do, that I must not have any. So if you really do care you have to let them know, over and over again. If they’re just play things, the trick is to not really say but make them think that you might like them. Same thing if you’re not really sure what you want, and you’re just playing it by ear, but this is really dangerous because you might end up getting attached. If she thinks that you’re just in it for sex then the whole time she’ll be purposely looking for things she really dislikes about you because she assumes you’re going to leave her and she wants it to hurt less when you do. If you change your mind too late and decide you want more than sex, she will be less attached and ironically, you will be the one who gets hurt. If you are treating her like your girlfriend the whole time, and then leave when something better comes along, then you either don't realize how much pain your causing, or you have no ethics.

I really think the best part of a relationship is that first month or so when there are still tons of things you haven’t done, conversations you haven’t had, and that almost comedic butterflies-in-your-stomach kind of sexual tension. But sex changes everything, sometimes I find myself less attracted to a woman after sex, sometimes more. Some women really are nymphos, and they are always one step ahead of you. As a man, it is assumed that I always want sex, but one thing I have noticed is that it is not good to always have sex just because you can. Its exhausting, and also if you start doing this on a regular basis, everyday or several times a day, then the sex gets old really fast, and it becomes more about a compulsive and depersonalized release rather than a truly intimate experience. I know this sounds ridiculous, but in my experience, (which i admit is limited...) it is actually counterproductive to take the "easy outs" so to speak, it feels better to work for it and set the mood, because it creates sexual tension which makes the sex better. If things still feel boring, there are always handcuffs.

Cuddling is awesome, but I can't cuddle all night. I already have insomniac tendencies and girls normally make it worse. Even if I fall asleep on my side, I dont hit REM. I sleep best on my back, with my legs straight out (not interlocking with hers), and my hands crossed against my chest, coffin style. I usually cuddle for an hour tops, then sleep, or else I am a zombie and I try to eat brains in the morning. Remember, all night cuddling is not worth life in jail for first degree cannibalism.

Its frustrating and difficult to walk the line between an emotional guy and a whiny bitch, because you do have to speak your mind and be honest about the way you feel. The last girl I was with was too loud and domineering and was always putting words in my mouth, which is one of the reasons I left. Part of the reason this happened was because i did not voice my opinion enough. She was blind to even the most obvious of my emotions, for example, she was still best friends with her ex boyfriend, and they were always hugging which made me really jealous. I knew they were just hugs, but I still felt like I was competing for her attention. She did not realize how much I hated him as a person, and after I told her, she avoided the two of us seeing each other, and when we did, she was not very nice to either of us. This was actually a great solution, and led to the two of us having a mutual understanding as we saw that neither of us were getting what we thought was too much or treatment, and eventually we became friends. If I had not told her, it would have festered inside and I would have taken it out on her. Also a fight really could have broken out between me and him, and I probably would have died.

They always say the determining factor is the first big fight, which I never survive. Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, I ended because I didn’t want to get dumped myself. Every relationship I’ve ended has left me bitter and resentful for at least a week. Girls always seem to cause a lot of emotional pain for me, but I would not take any of it back, and I know I’ll feel like crap again, but it’s worth it. That’s just life.