An Intolerable Quality

I have been through every grade in school. Soon to be a college graduate, I can speak well. I read. I work. I can hear and I can see. These, of course, do not infer intelligence or stupidity. I do feel, however, that it does provide for the assumption that I possess at least the average amount of intelligence for a normal human being. And yet there is a number of people; friends, strangers and all those in between, that still feel they need to speak as though their intelligence is so astoundingly superior to mine that everything, from their tone of voice to body language, practically shouts it.

I know that it really does not have everything to do with the level of my intelligence; these people usually act similar to everyone. Condescension drips off people as freely and profusely as water dripping off a melting ice cube. The difference though lies in the question of "why?" We know why ice melts to water, but very often in a conversation, the attitude that the "condescender" gives off leaves the receiver with a baffled feeling of "why does he/she feel they can talk to me this way?" I really wonder sometimes that I must give off some "idiot" vibe that I did not realize.
We have our know-it-alls, our pompous tools, and the possessors of the obnoxious arrogance. The condescenders are all of these rolled into one, plus more. Most statements are clearly toned to let you know of their obvious, extremely high steed they seem to continually ride on. It tends to appear most often in the workplace. My co-worker, J, is the paradigm of condescension and implied stupidity. A graduate of Carolina, a fact he would never let you forget, he constantly asks people their majors and proceeds to condemn their choice of attending UNCW. “You are a business major? Why do you go here? Carolina’s programs are so much better.” They are so much better, are they? Then why are you here waiting tables with us then, huh? He also is notorious for his smirk, and sprinkle of sarcastic humor that tops all of his statements, as is if to say: "you say the darndest things sometimes," while smiling and patting my head like I was a five year old asking about the storks delivering babies. Is there really anything more annoying? It comes extremely close to infuriating me.

I have recently acquired a new job as a hostess of a local steakhouse. The job is not hard. It can definitely test your stress level though. Of course, since I have an easy job, I must be mentally handicapped in some way. Or, even more infuriating, I am a girl so therefore I am a ditz, only there to smile, welcome and thank all who come and go. I encounter statements like, "make sure that each piece of silverware is in the right slot, you know, knives with knives, and spoons with spoons. Get it?" Are you serious, really? People call ahead many times to insure a specific table they feel they would be more comfortable in. For example: Some people are too large to fit easily in a booth, so they request a table. This happened and I informed my manager of our need for a table for five, he proceeded to instruct me that; "When people ask for a table, they usually mean a table in general, booth or table top, not specifically a table." It disturbed me to no end. Does he really think that I don’t understand the English language enough to tell the difference? He knows that people request certain tables all of the time, why now does he think that I am mistaken in the information that I gathered from my conversation on the phone when the person told me specifically, “I want a table, not a booth please.” I just do not get it.

It’s a toss-up though, what’s worse, thinking you are stupid, or, you’re just not good enough for them, plain and simple. Once again it leads me to question how people can honestly arrive at a sincere feeling of superiority over anyone else. A condescender truly believes that what they do super cedes what I do, whatever it may be; school, work or play. This usually coincides with the "power-trip". A touch of power, whether it be over you or not, sends people skyrocketing into anal retentive tirades, belittling and towering over everyone that is in their ridiculous path. I will use J once again, he was recently semi-promoted, really he makes the schedule for the bussers and food-runners. He has no authority what-so-ever telling me what to do, and yet he spouts ridiculous orders and remarks about the job his co-workers are performing. I am all about leaders stepping up, but not to exercise the imaginary power people feel they have the right to exercise.

I may sound angry, but I don’t mean to. It just is one of those qualities I can’t just get over and accept about people. It’s bothersome, aggravating, and insulting. So here is to you condescender, sitting comfortably on your pedestal, happy in your altered reality of prestige and genius. Hopefully you will soon realize that to everyone else it is just haughty and high-and-mighty.