Sifted and Sorted

I am a woman and a feminist. I hate how "feminist" has been twisted to mean so many things that just shouldn't be automatically associated with the word. The word "feminist" is too often tied to "man hater" and this is not true. I do not hate men; I just don't believe that being a woman makes me not as good as a man. Feminist aren't always women either; feminist come in every gender, sexuality and ethnicity.

Sadly some women who are feminists do fit the stereotype in one way or another. I have been told that as someone who enjoys my femininity that I cannot be a feminist. Being a feminist should not be associated with being “man-like”. Feminists who are “masculine” because being "feminine" is to be associated with traits that are less than flattering, miss the point of being femininst. They knowingly accept and adhere to the belief that to be “masculine” is to be better.

If we have to have these categories (our minds work in a binary fashion so we may need them) of masculine and feminine then neither one should be considered less than the other. Both have strengths, both have weaknesses.

To be a feminist to should be about embracing who you are and what you love and not being ashamed of it. The biological differences between men and women undeniable, though they have also been exaggerated over hundreds of years. Girls are taught “how to be feminine” and boys are taught “how to be masculine” according to the culture in which they are raised, but this should not make one better than the other.

There are people who tell me that women are equal and that I should stop whining. They tell me that women in the United States have far more rights than most of the rest of world and I should be thankful. I am very thankful, and I am concerned about the rest of the world, but I am more concerned with my own country because it is where I live. Women have legal equality in the US – but our society has a long way to go. It is becoming more socially acceptable for women to have “masculine” traits and that is a step in the right direction. However, it is still not acceptable for men to exhibit “feminine” traits. This is because so-called feminine qualities are still considered less. People, though especially men, often say things like “Don’t be such a girl” to insult someone. If women were equal in society, more people would be using the word "cowardly" instead of referencing a gender.

Calling me names that people (women included) associated with "feminist" bothers me. No one likes being stereotyped, but the worst part about the names doesn’t come from the insults themselves. The worst part about being stereotyped is that once a person finds a group to put you into (these groups are generally negative) they no longer have to deal with you as a person. You are placed neatly into a category and the arguments you make are easily brushed aside because you are just another fill-in-the-blank.