Saturday, November 24, 2007

Hold On To Home

When driving aimlessly around my hometown I never have to think about which lefts and rights take me to my house, my home, the place my family lives. It is the only house my family has ever owned and has been one of the few things to remain constant over the last couple years. If you would have caught me in this spot four years ago, I believe you would be looking at a very different person from who I am today. Comparing a quick visit home to what my life used to look like when I lived inside these walls shows just how much moving away from home has changed me.

A four day trip gives me just enough time to spend with the family and old friends and to take a few quiet moments to reflect on how things have changed. In high school, I spent a large percentage of my week at school but my home life was a lot of wasted time. While I was never big into T.V., I spent hours upon hours on the Internet, messaging my friends and reading whiny teen blogs. Every night my mom would come into our computer room and lecture me. Why couldn't I read a book instead? Wasn't there some type of school work I could be doing rather than sitting in front of the computer screen? I didn't understand what the big deal was. I was reading so it had to be good for me--right? It’s funny to me now that I couldn’t see that spending that time with my parents or brothers and sisters would be so much more worthwhile. Today, I’d like to think I see things more clearly. Other than checking the balance of my checking account or taking a peek at my e-mail inbox for a moment, I steer clear of the family computer when visiting. I find myself helping my mom prepare dinner or do the dishes, reading The Grouchy Ladybug to my three-year-old brother or playing board games like Balderdash with my younger siblings. Those are the things that I immediately jump at the thought of doing. The drive home from Wilmington is seven hours, so my trips home are few and far between. There are times at school when I would give anything to be sitting right where I am now, within ear shot of my mom and sister talking and giggling in the next room. Those moments when I can't be with the people I love have taught me to cherish the moments at home instead of wasting them away on the computer.

Chatting online with friends was all about me. What I was thinking about, what I was doing, what upset me. Being in an environment like college where the world doesn't rise and set on my schedule, I've learned to consider the feelings, desires of others before my own. In high school I didn't realize how lucky I was to be living under the same roof as my grandparents. I didn't see them as sources of great love and knowledge, but rather a burden, something standing in my way from having my mother's attention at any given time. Now, since my time with them has become so limited I take time to climb downstairs to their basement apartment and talk with them about school and their dog Cookie or new cat Precious. Despite all the new friends I've made in Wilmington, the networking contacts, I know I will never find two people like my grandparents that are rooting for me and believing in me the way they are. Every success is met with immense praise, every failure with a hug and steadfast encouragement. As more and more time passes, my trips home become less about meeting up with old friends and catching up on sleep and instead centered around that which makes my home, my home—the people inside.

So while the sayings abound about home never being quite the same as you remember it, or the walls of your home fading with memory and the passing of time, I don’t pay them any mind. True, neighborhoods may expand and street names bear new names, but my family keeps the feeling of home intact, regardless of our surroundings.


Education, At Any Age, Empowers


Parents often mention that their children leave for college at 18 and come back home four, sometimes five years later, changed individuals. The assumption is that they grew up during that time, maturing with the passing of the years. And yes, that is true, in part, but there is one other factor that probably causes most of the change: education. Attending college at any age changes a person, hopefully in a positive manner, giving them greater self-esteem; that goal alone should be the highest objective of the academic institution.

I started college just as I entered middle age. The past twenty plus years had been spent raising children, supporting my husband as he completed college and working in the secular world. It could be correctly assumed that I have done a lot of changing since high school. Most might think that my basic personality is firmly set and the person I was when I started college four years ago would be pretty much the person I am now. I had that same assumption, at least when I started school. Knowing what I know now, that idea was way off base.

I have often referred to myself as a liberal republican or a conservative democrat. I have always tried to be objective in my views and accept everyone for who they are as well as looking for the best side in any situation. I maintained a very middle-of-the-road stance in all I did. I felt this made me a good person. Four years into my education, I still try to be that way, but the opinions I form are now influenced by a deeper understanding and background. More noticeable than that is the fact that I am much more secure in my own beliefs and values. Before I started college, I was quick to waiver when someone disagreed with me; backing down or shutting up entirely in order to avoid a discussion I didn't feel competent to defend. For years I felt I couldn't participate in the intelligent discussions of my peers. It seemed they just knew so much more than I did, and they felt so comfortable in their own ideas and opinions. With that innate comfort comes a sense of self-esteem. That is what education has given me, self-esteem through knowledge.

As I approach my graduation, I take with me four years of learning but, more importantly, I take a confidence within myself that I am just as intelligent, valued and important as the person standing next to me. I know that I have learned to evaluate and process information and then take that knowledge and use it in a productive manner. I understand that learning carries responsibility. Education is what creates enlightened individuals; it gives them a greater understanding of their place in society along with what they can give back. For me, it gave the drive to give back to the institution that has provided me with the tools to find my own self-esteem. Education helped me find my voice, a voice I plan to use to help others discover the same confidence I now possess. I have changed from college, I am empowered and perhaps, in the end, that is the greatest purpose of education.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

BEOWULF

The movie Beowulf, directed by Robert Zemeckis, is an animated tale based on the old story of a Scandinavian hero of great deeds who comes to King Ruthgar's cursed lands to rid them of the monster, which he later learns is called Grendel. Modern actors are animated in the film, such as Anthony Hopkins, Angelina Jolie, and John Malkovich. The life-like computer animation and placement of the actors’ likenesses
within the film gives it a modern touch. Although an old tale, there are modern lessons to be learned by this movie.

Set in Scandinavia, Beowulf treks with his handful of men to Rothgar's lands, where a monster, Grendel, is plaguing them. Beowulf, being the proud and boastful hero, takes on the challenge. He ends up fighting Grendel naked rips the beast's arm off, sending the monster running back to its mother (played by Angelina Jolie). Grendel ends up dying. And as a token of his appreciation, Rothgar offers his queen to Beowulf. The irony is, Grendel was actually the offspring of King Rothgar (Anthony Hopkins) and the monster played by Angelina Jolie. That is why the queen could never produce a son because she would not lay with Rothgar.

Beowulf ends up going back to the moors after almost the entire lodge is slain by the she-monster (Angelina Jolie). Rothgar's advisor Umferth (John Malkovich) is wary of Beowulf, and gets into several verbal altercations with the hero. As a Christian in a land of pagans, Umferth warns Beowulf of his pride. Beowulf merely shrugs him off and goes to fight the she-monster, where he is enticed the same way Rothgar was. He is promised power and wealth and a great kingdom in exchange for giving her another son and giving her the dragon cup. This is the pact they make. Beowulf returns to Rothgar saying he has slain the she-monster, and brings back Grendel's head. Umferth is wary of him, but goes with it. Rothgar knows Beowulf really did not slay her but says she is Beowulf's problem now. The King ends up committing suicide and beforehand "wills" his kingdom and everything in it to Beowulf.

Years go by and the kingdom expands. Then, a tragic turn is taken when the dragon cup is found. The pact between the she-monster is broken, and their son (which can morph into a dragon) attacks the lands. Beowulf sets out to destroy the dragon, but ends up losing his life to do so, taking it personally and not risking anyone else's life for his mistakes. He kills the dragon, ends up dying himself, and his best friend takes over the kingdom. The movie, though, shows the best friend holding the dragon cup and standing mid-waist in the ocean, looking at the she-monster.

The movie has powerful action sequences including Beowulf, Grendel, the dragon, and war between opposing tribes. The dialogue in the movie accentuates the points in the movie of greed, lust, pride, dishonesty, and shame. The computer animation is unlike any previously animated movie has done, including Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. It is worth seeing, and being only two hours long, it includes many aspects that make it worthy of watching, plenty of action and battle, lust and sex, suspense, and intrigue. I give Beowulf 3.5 stars.

Stuck Under a Cloud? Well it's always sunny in Philadelphia...

They become addicted crack. They take on the persona of a serial killer. They run a sweat shop. These are just a few of the out-of-control antics that the characters of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia suffer through.

In a world full of sitcoms with laugh tracks flooding your sound system, It's Always Sunny is a breath of fresh air with creative ideas and storylines that push the envelope in its most extreme forms. From pimps to drug dealers to slavery and transsexuals, Dennis, Dee, Mac and Charlie do it all. They, along with Dennis and Dee's legal father and Charlie's biological father, played by Danny DeVito, own and operate an Irish pub. Their complete dysfunction is hysterical and is simply a must-see for comedy fans.

Dennis, the narcissistic twin brother of Dee, uses women as pawns and sexual objects yet has a softer side that wanted to become a veterinarian and sometimes cries. Dee, dubbed "The Aluminum Monster" in high school due to scoliosis, is an alcoholic bartender who looks for love in all the wrong places and desperately yearns to become an actress. Mac, the only genuinely nice character, tries in earnest to do "right", yet never succeeds due to his lack of intelligence. In hopes of gaining the respect of his incarcerated, estranged father, Mac is recruited to smuggle heroin in his rectum with his childhood friend Charlie. An illiterate pathological liar, Charlie has a "puppy-dog" essence despite his complete immorality. As a partner in the pub, he gave away his shares for sandwiches.

Each character is completely self-serving and looks out only for themselves. With random, reoccurring characters popping into the picture, hilarity ensues. A cracked out priest named Rickety Kricket who is in love with Dee and the incestuous McPoyle brothers are a few of the strange characters that are part of the tangled web of vanity, extortion, and dishonesty that get the four friends nowhere.

In the most recent episode, "The Gang", as they are affectionately known, tried out for the Philadelphia Eagles. This is not even the most far fetched of the episodes. In one episode, The Gang schemes to win money and accuse their gym teacher of molestation. In another, they suspect Mac of being a serial killer when in fact, he is dating a transsexual. These kinds of situations, while off the wall, are supremely subtle in their hilarity. The actors let the extreme plots do the flaunting while never overacting.

Their awkwardness and the completely strange situations that they get into create such a creative and hilarious show that is relatively unknown, yet quickly becoming a classic. I would recommend this show to anyone who wants something funny with a fresh, new twist on the predictable and tired sitcom. The Gang from It's Always Sunny will not disappoint.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

One of the most interesting books that I have read in a long time is The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. It is written from the point of view of a twelve-year-old autistic boy named Christopher. His best friend is his neighbor’s dog, a poodle named Wellington. The novel starts with Christopher finding Wellington dead—stabbed by a pitchfork. Christopher goes on a journey to find out who killed Wellington and in the process learns a lot about his dead mother and gains independence that he never knew he needed.

That is the main plot, and I do not want to give much away because it is an amazing murder mystery. Even more interesting than the plot itself is Christopher’s character. This is the first novel I have ever read where I was inside the mind of an autistic person. To be able to enter territory that is completely unfamiliar to you keeps you reading and thrills you. The writing made me feel like Christopher was a real person, and I became invested in what happened to him. I found myself rooting for Christopher, and isn’t that what readers ultimately want from the nontraditional hero?

Being autistic, Christopher has some interesting and challenging quirks. He does not wear, touch, or eat anything yellow. There is no traumatic past incident with the color yellow, but his brain tells him that yellow is a color that he should stay away from. He has numerous other aversions and rituals that keep his world in order. He decides if his day is going to be good or bad by what cars he sees on his bus ride to school. If he sees four red cars in a row then it is going to be a “good day.” If he sees five red cars in a row then it is going to be a “super good day.” If he sees four yellow cars in a row then it is going to be a “black day.” These things mean nothing to the average person, but to this autistic child, they mean the difference between a day of doing math and talking to his teacher or sitting in the corner of class with his hands over his ears screaming all day.

Things are simple in his mind, but then all of these simple things can add up to a big mass of complicated things. When Christopher is in a train station he reads a store sign. That is fairly simple, but for Christopher it does not stop there. He reads every sign in the station and makes a list, a long list, in his mind. Then he tries to organize them in his mind into patterns. Christopher occupies his mind with these signs for hours, and he is able to block out the stimuli that are scaring him. Christopher has learned how to make his complicated brain work off him so he can survive around other people.

This novel pulled me in and did not let go. I have recommended it to every literary-inclined person I know. Looking through the eyes of Christopher you see an innocent world and a world full of wonder. As a hero, Christopher is vulnerable and naive and everything that makes a nontraditional hero loveable.


Cheers to a Good Time

I've heard some people call it that "obnoxious bar." Or a friend say, "Even though you work there, I won't come see you." It's Rum Runners, its located downtown and it's pull is the fact that it features "World Famous Dueling Pianos." Two pianists sit facing each other and put on a complete show while patrons put request slips, along with money, atop the pianos.

Working there up to three nights a week, I get to hear the good, the bad and the repetition night after night. Similiar to the way people who work in restaurants eventually can't stand the sight of the food they serve, I've found that being exposed to the same music and jokes all the time has made me roll my eyes as I work with customers, who are taking pictures of the pianists and gushing how amazing they are. The drums are loud, the lines are the same, and I often run into the kitchen and grab my handy bottle of Advil and pop a few, usually after handing a few to a bouncer or server.

However, the other night I was hiding from a drunken crowd behind the bar with another server. A new pianist was filling in for someone else that night. She leaned over to me and yelled "This guy isn't that good, he kind of sucks."

"Yea, Dave's a lot better."

Often times you don't know what's good until you hear what's bad, and that's the way the show was that night. Since then, I've noticed just how good a show they actually put on. The wide range of cover songs that they know is quite impressive; only once in a great while will one laugh into the mike and tell the other pianist, "This is a really good tip; I don't know this song but I'm gonna fake it!" A crowd of 200 plus puts up songs, and they are generally satisfied by having their songs played.

And then there's the show. The "Devil Went Down To Georgia" is played at least once a night, twice if the crowd is large, and features Danny standing on the pianos playing his fiddle and stomping his feet while Marc the bartender will run on stage, down a shot, and breathe fire. If that's not the climax of the night, then it's Jared putting on a top hat, sunglasses and playing the electric guitar while standing on the piano's with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

Yes, they do the same jokes for bachelorette and birthdays every night. One sings "I'm a little teacup, short and stout, so bend me over and ea..." and is interrupted by the other saying "Nooo, you can't say that!" At the same time, for every 21st birthday girl or bachelorette it's their very first time hearing it, especially sung to them, while they sit on the piano.

There are many people who avoid this place, yet the musicians manage to please much more patrons than they don't. Otherwise, there wouldn't be people at 2:15 a.m. chanting "Georgia! Georgia!" begging to hear "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" one more time. So if you can stand a possible headache, bachelorette parties and at times general chaos, I suggest you come down to Rum Runners. I'll bring you a 32 oz. Long Island, maybe a jagerbomb, and you'll get to experience a truly good show.

Jon Lajoie: YouTube Superstar


Jon Lajoie is a star in the YouTube universe. The Canadian-born comedian uses the website, as well as his own, to broadcast his foul-mouthed humor to the world. YouTube was invented for people like Lajoie whose style and material would never be aired on cable, much less network TV. Offensive material aside, Lajoie’s material is separated into randomly posted and unrelated skits. Producing his own work and keeping it on the internet allow Lajoie’s message to remain unfiltered by network executive and the FCC.

Lajoie needs this freedom because he gets obscene in every skit. This obscenity is showcased fully in "Pointless Profanity" and "Pointless Profanity Pt 2." There is no point to these skits and are solely for the reason to see how offensive he can be in two and a half minutes. In "Vorclaw", Lajoie is the messenger of death for the world who becomes upset when he realizes that he won’t survive global destruction. Lajoie also displays his musical talents on his site. He plays a heartfelt love song to the two girls in the infamous "2 Girls 1 Cup" clip circling the web.

The comedy is also extremely random, reminiscent of Wet Hot American Summer. In "Pierre Trudeau…," Lajoie reminisces about the former Canadian Prime Minister, only to be interrupted by a ninja and a talking zebra. He adopts the voice of the greatest playwright of all time in "The News with Shakespeare." In the skit Shakespeare informs the audience that Chuck Norris is just as cool as he was in the 80’s just before he swings to his weatherman, Jesus Christ.

In my favorite skit, "The Mysteries of the Universe," Lajoie, as Brent Coleslaw, ponders ancient philosophical truths. His journey into the great questions of life include how he believes God ripped off He-Man by claiming to be the Supreme Being in the universe and that if we are all share the same energy, then he should be able to have sex with his best friend's sister. In "Breathing Commercial" he informs the viewer on how to avoid “death-like symptoms” with the very easy and affordable act of breathing.

If you’re like me and have the sense of humor of a 14-year-old then Jon Lajoie is something you need to check out. He is obscene, foul and random but above everything else he is hilarious. After my friend sent me the link to his website (jonlajoie.com), I spent 10 minutes laughing at the home page. After discovering the videos, I watched all sixteen in order. From High as F@#k to Brent Horst: Politician, Lajoie had me in tears because I was laughing so hard.

Lojoie's brilliance comes from his ability to create comedy out of essentially nothing. Using only one camera and his uncanny ability to shock the viewer, Lojoie takes "YouTube comedy" to a new plateau. Jonlajoie.com is a great site that is perfect for anyone that enjoys random and somewhat obscene comedy.

Alpha Dog

Alpha Dog is a powerful film based on the true story of the kidnapping and murder of 15-year-old Nicholas Markowitz and the alleged involvement of drug dealer Jesse James Hollywood, the youngest men ever to be on the FBI’s most wanted list.

The movie opens with Sonny Truelove (played by Bruce Willis), Johnny’s father as well as drug supplier, being interviewed about good parenting. Sonny is a major scumbag with links to organized crime who is using his son as the front for his own business. It is unclear who is interviewing him, or for what purpose. As the movie progresses we witness how Johnny and his father work their deals and move large amounts of marijuana worth thousands of dollars.

At one of his many parties, Johnny meets with Jake Mazursky, one of Johnny’s part-time distributors. When Jake fails to collect a drug debt for Johnny, they begin to fight and Johnny pulls a gun on him. Later, in retaliation Jake and some friends break in to vandalize Johnny’s house.

During all of these crazy events we are introduced to Jake’s 15-year-old half-brother Zach. Zach is going through some rough times of his own. Since his older brother is such a screw-up, his mother (Sharon Stone) smothers him and treats him like a child. When his parents confront him about a bong they found in Zach’s room, he decides to run away from home.

After Johnny cleans up his house, he and his friends Frankie (Justin Timberlake) and “TKO” set out to get kill Jake. After the task proves to be unsuccessful they come across Zach walking along a country road, so they pull over and kidnap him, throwing him into the back of the van, hoping to use him as leverage to make Jake pay his debt. They take him to Frankie's house in Palm Springs, California. Zach begins to feel he is amongst friends and enjoys the break from home life with his over-protective mother. He is given alcohol and drugs and loses his virginity. He is confident that Jake will soon pay his debt, and that he will then be released. Through all of this the movie continually lists the amount of witnesses there were to this random, out-of control crime.

Things quickly move from bad to worse and when Johnny finds out that he may serve a serious amount of jail time for kidnapping, he instructs his friends to kill Zach.

This movie is harsh and realistic but extremely sad. The story is told semi-documentary style and interviews the witnesses and participants as the story is being told. The storyline is a powerful, very realistic look at the account of a young boy who had the misfortune of being caught up in a web of murder, drugs, and sex. It is both maddening and tragic. The writing was lacking cohesion; it became choppy and failed to keep my attention at points. It may be worth seeing one time, but I would not watch it again.

For Voyeurs Only

In between watching copious amounts of YouTube videos involving Rollercoaster Tycoon terrorists, jazz players dancing to a dub over of Daft Punk, and charging an Ipod with an onion and Gatorade, I found myself watching a video that I hadn't seen in ages.

"The Mission" by a closet creative genius that goes by the user name, MickB0529 is one of three episodes in the "For Voyeurs Only" trilogy. The video is a montage of various movie clips, television snippets, and news footage with different voice clips and sound bites interspersed throughout.

His utilization of the Kuleshov effect, an observed effect during an experiment that shows the fact that "it is therefore not the content of the images in a film which is important, but their combination," is crucial to the piece. None of the video footage is his. None of the audio clips are his. But, in light of the Kuleshov effect, it is worthy to note that "the raw materials of such an art work need not be original, but are pre-fabricated elements which can be deconstructed and re-assembled by the artist into new juxtapositions." Nevertheless, the juxtaposition, sequencing, and editing make this a truly original work of art.

The video is gripping, raw, disturbing yet undeniably real. It takes you on a rollercoaster of emotions from disgusted and hopeless, feeling fearful but ultimately ending with a hopeful, uplifting and reflective tone. On the surface, the video may appear to be random video clips that have no bearing on the next set of random video clips. But each and every clip, regardless of length and content, is in there for a specific reason and they all work together systematically to make this video unique.

This is a perfect example of an artist who creates something for his own enjoyment, fulfillment and enlightenment, not someone creating something just to please the masses. For every ten people that dislike and dismiss this movie basing their judgments on shallow appearances, there is a person who fully immerses himself or herself into the video, is deeply moved by the piece, reflects upon it, and ultimately, walks away enlightened and changed, much the same way people struggle with seeing the bigger picture when reading literature but to those who do understand the bigger picture are able to learn things.

Describing the footage and audio of the movie would do little justice to the piece because it is not any individual clip that make this, rather the conglomeration of everything, uniting in harmony like the hundreds of instruments coming together perfectly in an orchestra. What is more important is the theme and the big picture. The theme of the first half is apocolyptic and dark, containing many images that only serve to support this reality.

Images of dogs being put to sleep in a poison gas tank and children with guns fill the screen. A city burns in the twilight. The chaos and destruction that was 9/11 and its ensuing aftermath of war is remembered instantly. Foreign to our western eyes, clips from Al-Jazeera show the executions and killings of hostages. Islamic fundamentalists mock the cries of a man about to be executed. An iconic clip shows several worms consuming a leaf which they eventually devour and are left with nothing to hold onto but the stem. The music begins slowly, escalating in combination with the footage, from slow and chilling to fast and jarring.

Suddenly, everything slows down and the screen is filled with a variety of movie footage showing great power and destruction from individuals. A man stands in front of a speeding bus and destroys it with his steadfastness, unwaivering, as if to say, "Enough, this must stop!"

In harmony with this, a mellow piano cues in and the video takes a turn towards a lighter tone. The viewer begins to see the destruction that was seen in the first half being reversed. The dust and debris disappear and the Twin Towers rise from their fiery graves. The plane flies out of the Tower and they stand tall and strong again. Clips from "United 93" and actual 911 calls from that day play. The viewer then hears the voice of someone ask George Bush, "Do you believe this, that the war in Iraq and the rise of terrorism are signs of the apocolypse?" to which he replies with a laugh and a befuddled "umm." The viewer then sees the dogs being taken out of the gas tank, living, a man freeing a wolf from a trap, compassion and conviction in his eyes, soldiers playing soccer with young Iraqis, connected by humanity. The worm clip plays in reverse revealing an abundant, healthy leaf. The sun dawns on the burning city as the flames die down and life is brought back. A soothing voice floods from the speakers,

"Everything we've done is forgiven. Everything."

Fades to black.

Fin.

Have hope.

Into the Room

If you read these directions you will end up in a different room than the one you are looking for, figuratively. This is my disclaimer that what you will find here, will not satisfy your two-and-a-half-hour trip. After I took this trip three years ago I found Wilmington is a place growing substantially in many aspects of city culture. With this in mind, the town is filled with older establishments; such as, the University of North Carolina. The college is having trouble keeping up with the large population increase and its impacts. An educational institution that should prides itself on fairness. I believe I might go as far as saying they are having trouble keeping promises. When all is said and done I guess it's all the same, but this is not why you are here. Your directions to room 206.

Find I-40 east in your city, prepared to drive for an unusually long two hours, there will be no sense of road trippin on this road. The interstate will be lined with the fields that are in turn lined with large pine trees. No getting lost here, you simply continue on the road I-40 when you will literally run into Wilmington. For less confusion I'll remind you that I-40 connects to South College, this is the road which connects you to the University of North Carolina at Wilmington college campus.

It's about a five minute commute once you are on South College before you reach the first turn, New Center this will in turn connect you onto Racine. Turn left off South College on to New Center for a brief moment, then take you will make a right onto Racine. It should be known that if you were to continue down South College you would be driving along what is referred to as the front of campus; however, for the purpose of making it to room 206 in Morton then New Center to Racine is the quickest way.

Once you are on Racine continue straight, and you will come up to the University. Welcome to your first encounter with Uncw. A four-way-stop light marks an intersection which Randall drive crosses Racine and can be considered as the "loop" for getting around the campus. You must drive straight through this intersection for the destination.

When you make it to a cul de sac-esque-car loop at the end of Raine drive. Realize that on your left there are two buildings, one of which is Morton, the building on the right of these two buildings.

You may park shortly at the island in the middle of the cul de sac. Take note: there is parking lot on the right, but you cannot park here unless you are faculty. Click on the cars four ways and everything is handy dandy.

Walk through the side doors and climb the stair case. They will lead you to the second floor, where you first walk through a lobby filled by the faculty offices on both sides of the hallway. Continue this walk and open the two doors which will lead you into a student waiting area or lounge with Pepsi and a Dasni refreshment machines are on your left. Continue until you are able to make a right where hallways intersect. After you turn right the room you are searching for will be found here. Room 206 will be on your left, two doors down from the intersection.

The Mother of all Pregnancy Movies

The movie’s title alone was enough to support my impulse buy. I am a big fan of random buys, especially when it comes to movies. I always make my way to Wal-Mart on Tuesday to see the new releases. I walked to the movie area, and my attention was quickly caught by the yellow case adorned with a smirking young man’s face. I had heard people talking about the movie Knocked Up before, so I figured that it could be worth checking out.

I couldn’t watch it that night, because my favorite TV show, House, comes on, but I did watch it on Wednesday night. As the movie started, I quickly realized that was not just about some girl getting pregnant. It is a true outright comedic adventure documenting the ins and outs of dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. I was doubtful of even watching this with my girlfriend because of my fear of commitment and her yearning for it. The movie stars Seth Rogen as the slacker, Ben, who participate in a night of debauchery with extremely successful career girl Alison, played by Katherine Heigl. I of course have seen the beautiful Katherine Heigl from her stint on the television show Grey’s Anatomy, but I was interested to see how Rogen played a high stakes role such as this one.

The two main characters meet at a bar where they are both going to celebrate completely different things. This one intoxicating evening highlighted by one unprotected sex act causes career girl Alison to get pregnant. Two months later Ben has the news broken to him by the extremely distraught Alison. Alison and Ben come to the conclusion that keeping the baby is the best thing. The two of them try to make things work out, more or less because Ben realizes that he is an extremely unattractive loser who has won an awesome chance with a great girl.

As their journey goes through many ups and downs, we witness the heartwarming representation of how love can grow and what we as human beings can do if we only believe. Of course I laughed my head off at the many hysterical moments fueled by Ben and Alison’s interaction with their co-stars and each other. This B-list All Star team shows that you don't have to have fart jokes, sex talk, nudity, extreme drug use and basic acts of debauchery to have a great comedy. So my suggestion is that if you haven’t seen this movie, run out and buy it. But I do give you a precautionary measure to take when you might watch this movie with someone who is opinionated and a little prudish. The movie does use explicit language and has scenes not appropriate for young viewers. So viewer discretion is advised. But if you are still interested in the movie, run out and buy it right now because you will laugh, you’ll cry and you’ll cherish this movie for years to come!

Children of Men

If you haven’t seen Alfonso Cuaron’s Children of Men, you’re missing out. The film is set in London, in the year 2027. No child has been born since 2009 due to certain illnesses and epidemics that plagued the world. A breakdown of societal functions across the globe leaves London the last refuge for the citizens of the world. The surge in refugees causes chaos in London and it isn’t long before war breaks out there too.

The government of London battles with media-labeled terrorists called the “Fishes.” The Fishes represent an underground movement to restore order to the society. Theo, played by Clive Owen, struggles to help a pregnant woman get out of the country. Their destination…a boat called the Tomorrow. The boat houses "The Human Project," a plan to rebuild the structure of modern society. The Fishes first house Theo and the pregnant women, but their plan to use the baby strictly as a propaganda tool to support their cause sends Theo on a wild ride with fate. With a little help from his friend, Jasper, played by Michael Caine, Theo works his way through a series of setbacks and becomes mankind’s one last chance for redemption. Michael Caine could form an onscreen chemistry with a brick wall. He adds a hint of amusement in this suspenseful film. Owen and Caine draw you into this film and make you wish they had more screen time with each other.
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The cinematography is brilliantly risky. Some shots were filmed for as long as six minutes without a cut away. The live action not only works to the film’s advantage but also displays the versatile abilities of the actors as well as the off screen special effects crew. The technology displayed is believable and realistic. As opposed to many futuristic movies, you will not see flying cars or laser operated weapons. The dialogue does seem to lack substance during a few scenes, but for the most part, holds an interest with the viewer.

Like any good film, this movie will keep you asking questions until the very end. Hollywood has a tendency to make the same movies over and over. Their idea is to keep on going with what works and not to complicate matters with farfetched ideas. However, it is the originality of this film that makes it stand out. If you’re looking for something different for night, Children of Men won’t disappoint. But make sure the kiddies are content with something else. Wait until they’re asleep or thrown on a Disney movie in a different room. Despite the R rating for violence, language, and some sexuality, the movie goes to the extreme, and makes a firm political statement, to show the possible outcome of a world without children. After all, if we can’t learn to take care of each other, how can mankind ever expect to survive into the next century?

The Weakerthans - Reunion Tour

With four years since their last release, I began scribbling down ideas for a eulogy. “When I first met The Weakerthans,” I would say to a flower-filled room full of mourners, chins quivering, hands consoling other hands, “they were such a talented group of young knucks. There is nothing more tragic than an untimely death.”

But alas, the good word was out.

I was driving home. It was late summer, the windows were down. Robert Siegel was on the radio interviewing some guru about the economy, or the job market, or something, when he announced the next segment: his plans to talk to John Samson, songwriter and front man for a band called The Weakerthans... Wait. What?

Could this be?

Did I hear him correctly?

Was All Things Considered really going to interview John Samson from The Weakerthans? Why would they do that? They’re just a little band from Canada. What do they have to do with Darfur or net neutrality? And they haven’t put out a c.d. in years… wait a minute. I rolled the windows up and turned up the volume to ensure maximum audibility.

I’m sure the interview was great. I’m sure Siegel asked some thought-provoking, Siegelesque questions (although I can’t actually picture him preparing for the interview, which would inevitably entail actually listening to The Weakerthans). I didn’t hear anything past Robert Siegel’s introduction, during which he (triumphantly, before a roaring crowd – in my mind) announced The Weakerthans’ status as a conscious, functioning entity whose latest creation would be available to the public (me) for purchase on September 25th – less than a week before my birthday. And oh what a gift it would make.

“Reunion Tour” is the fourth full-length from the Winnipeg foursome – their second release on the independent-punk-rock-goliath Epitaph Records. Songwriter John Samson abandons his traditional personal narratives, and instead sings mainly in the first person from invented, yet very human, characters (save the return of his favorite feline friend).

The first track, "Civil Twilight," begins with an afflicted three-chord guitar riff, sounding like it’s been churned through the recently widowed machines of Robert Moog. But without fail, the straightforward, beautifully stripped-down sound of The Weakerthans comes pushing through. The lyrics begin with a frenzy of alliteration sung in a catchy, staggering melody: “My Confusion Corner commuters are cursing the cold away / as December tries to dissemble the length of their working day.” As the story unfolds, we learn of a brokenhearted bus driver who can usually keep his mind on his work, except during the time “between the sunset and certified darkness.” The driver’s ploys to forget his loss are foiled every day at “civil twilight,” despite his attempts to “calculate all the seconds left in the minutes” and “recite the names of provinces and Hollywood actors.” The lyrics tend to weave their way through the verses and choruses with some overlap that works to keep you listening in a strange the-next-line-has-started-before-I-have-comrehended-the-last-line kind of way. The bus driver’s thoughts somehow can’t keep up with the musical changes. But eventually he realizes he truly had time to keep up with his relationship, but let it slip away one day as the sun was setting – hence the vivid memories at dusk.

Samson’s lyrics are not only specific and calculated, but they rarely repeat themselves like the typical pop song, returning again and again to its catchy one-liner. His lyrics read more like a poem -- ever-evolving. He describes a room down to its most seemingly insignificant details, but will only reveal certain emotions of his characters. In this way adhering to Hemmingway’s iceberg theory, allowing you and me to fill in the 90 percent that lies below the surface. The cover of the album is an illustrated portrayal of a frozen lake with cracked blocks of ice floating along the surface. The lives of the characters within seem to imitate the disconnected nature of the ice, each with his or her own missing connections, alluding to an increasingly fractured and detached (perhaps post-modern) humanity.

Another standout song marks the return (and tragic departure) of Virtute the cat. On The Weakerthans previous album, Reconstruction Site, the song, "Plea From a Cat Named Virtute," tells the tale of a cat who has become fed up with her owner’s depression, anxiety and lack of motivation. It is told in the first person from the cat’s point of view (I know, isn’t that great?). By the end of the song, her relentless positive attitude presumably motivates her friend to change his life. Virtute’s song on the new album, "Virtute the Cat Explains Her Departure," is no less exhilarating than her first. Although, it’s ending is nothing short of devastating.

Overtop of a quiet, soft drumbeat and minimal guitar and bass, Virtute explains how the moon beckoned her away from home, and how she eventually lost her way. She reminisces about the times when she would “wait for you to arrive with kibble and a box full of beer,” and how “I’d kneed into your chest while you were sleeping.” Virtute admits that she would always return home because of a certain call, a tone, or as she puts it, “the song that you found for me.” But in the end, when she makes her way far away from home, left with only the memories of a life with her friend, the human, she sings over an increasingly climactic musical coda, heartbroken and lost… “But now I can’t remember the sound that you found for me.”

With a song about a man who sees Bigfoot, and is publicly shunned because of it; another about a farmer drinking away his time in a bar, pondering his broken marriage; and another about a lonely traveling businessman who hates his job, The Weakerthans' newest release allows us a glimpse into the lives of richly developed characters in the midst of their sorrow and pity. Some will make a turn for the better, others will not. To say the least – this album is not to be missed.

If their next release takes four years to materialize, I will wait patiently and keep my premature-eulogy-drafting materials at bay. It will be well worth the wait.


For anyone interested: www.theweakerthans.org

Now I Get It: It's Porky - And It's Also a Pine Tree; If Only I Could Visualize This Oddity.

I’ve been waiting for this. Fear Of A Blank Planet is not just a concept album, it is also a mind reading device that I feel completely justified in comparing to the one used in the video game Destroy All Humans; another possession of mine which is almost as “hip” and “jiving” as the subject of this review. Porcupine Tree's (PT's) newest release plays like a fifty-one minute composition comprised of six well transitioned movements, and I feel like anyone who has ever felt isolated can immediately relate to the first song (the title track).

The album’s title is inspired by Public Enemy’s album, Fear of a Black Planet. Instead of stressing bigotry and crackers and white cheddar cheesiness, the lyrics target all the most modern aspects of society including TV, MTV culture, prescription drugs, videogames and, of course, internet porno. These opiates numb the brains of the masses into inactivity and apathy, in a manner that is quite Marxian in nature. With their communist txt messaging and internet "BLOGS", the youth keep getting lazier and dumber, hence the “blank planet.” Like in the video game Destroy All Humans, assimilation is the current and primary goal, and while the future agenda is hidden, domination will probably transpire.

“Anaesthetize” is the strongest part of the album and features a guest solo from Rush guitarist Alex Lifeson. This eighteen minute epic builds in intensity until it peaks at about eleven minutes with double bass drumming and one of the crunchiest/most frenzied metal riffs on a PT song to date. It then dwindles back down into brooding vocals and sedative keyboard and guitar verses. Like when the credits are rolling in Destroy All Humans, this ending theme is totally “shweeet,” it just goes on too long, but not in a Brian Eno shoot-me-in-the-head-there's-nothing-happening kind of way, its really that i'm an anxious person, which makes the beginning of "Sentimental" that much more appreciated. It's not distasteful, it's tantric, like Destroy All Humans.

Although there are some great solos such as the aforementioned on “Anaesthetize,” and the one on “Way Out of Here” played by Robert Fripp of King Crimson, there could always be more. This is my only real criticism, that and I wish there had been some louder bass lines like they had in their last album, Deadwing. But this is still one of their best releases, and prog' greatness, indubitably; it takes at least 6+ times of thorough listening to fully absorb and notice everything. This is a creeper: it'll keep growin' on you.

The tone of this album is constantly depressing and dark. Upon first listen there are a few spots that don’t sound so dismal, like the slow down track “My Ashes,” but the lyrics prove otherwise. While this is not exactly uplifting it is appropriate for the theme of the album. In the last song “Sleep Together,” depraved mastermind Steve Wilson uses sex as a metaphor to describe the main character’s suicidal tendencies. The surreal rhythmic delay and wah effect on the guitar melody played throughout the whole song is well delivered and avoids redundancy; when in combination with just the drums and keyboard, it almost sounds like a fat slab of groove from a traditional but succulent techno dish. This song also contains the album’s best bass line, and the hypnotic violins are both powerful and calming.

Those who are just looking for the satisfaction obtained from loud distortion may be disappointed that they have to wait around for so long to reach that gratification. Ironically this idea fits in pretty well with the concept of the album: instant gratification; but I don’t think Wilson would object to responsible use of Destroy All Humans, or technical death metal, or the occasional pornographic masturbation session. I think its one of those moderation thingamajigs, which this album certainly is not; so in a way, its self-proclaimed catharsis. If forced by gunpoint or slingshot to compare this album to other band’s albums, I’d say its Lateralus meets Kid A. However PT has more studio albums than both Tool and Radiohead, and in my opinion has crossed more genres.

By the way, “dude,” if you’re a “hardcore” fan you might want to wait until they release this as a double disc, one of which will be a surround sound DVD most likely loaded with juicy bonus material. Wilson is notorious for his sound-mixing, guru-tripster "street creds," and the fact that my copy has not been truly crossfaded is somewhat depressing, not “Sleep Together” depressing; but still, I know it could be better, like Dark Side Of Oz at the Imax. I saw them in Raleigh recently, they put on a great show and the new music video’s are pretty "cool." If you’re throwing around mad bling like a true baller you might consider purchasing the PS2 video game Destroy All Humans while you are buying this double disc and pimping your way through Best Buy. Or you could purchase it all online while watching porn or Mtv.