No, no...Thank YOU!

"We the willing, led by the unknowing

are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.

We have done so much with so little for so long,

we are now qualified to do anything with nothing." -Unknown

Imagine this...depending on the generosity of other people to pay your bills and put food on your table. Crazy, isn't it? I wish. I am one of the countless servers in the world that do just that. I am the person that greets you with a smile. I am the person that gets your drinks, down to the one that can only have three ice-cubes, one squirt of lemon juice, and a straw on the side with a twist of lime. I take your order...even the one with the Garlic chicken but you're allergic to garlic, and instead of mushrooms could you have asparagus but with butter on the side-- oh and could you make that in olive oil because I hate the way your sauce tastes? Thanks. I serve your food, get the extra dressing, napkins, toothpicks, mints... I bus your table, sing our "special birthday song" to you, all with a smile and friendly witty banter. If this is all done perfectly and correctly, I hope to make a 20% tip. Imagine my surprise when I go back to clean your table and find two quarters. Thank you. Thank you SO MUCH. How very generous of you.

What I want to know is, how on earth someone can think it is ok to leave pocket change, or more frequently, nothing at all. It is infuriating and crushing to work so hard for a few measly cents or a crumpled two dollars. It isn't worth it. I would rather wash your dishes in the back.

Not to disrespect the South at all, but I have served in Ohio and New York City, and only here is a 20% tip negotiable. When I moved down here, my tips went down dramatically. In New York City the managers of a restaurant will approach a table if their server did not receive a 20% tip. They will ask if there was a problem, that their servers are accustomed to 20%. Here, 10% is the norm. Do you realize how little that is? I can spend two hours waiting on a table of six people and they could have a bill well over $100. Leaving me $10 does not cut it. Anything less then 18-20% is like a slap in the face.

People argue that they will not tip for bad service. Completely understandable. In cases where the service was terrible (and I mean terrible such as forgetting orders or taking too long) I would condone a 10-15% tip. However, I am a top-notch server. Not to toot my own horn, but... beep-beep. I have lost faith in people, though. I give excellent service and rarely do I see more than 10-15% . This is unacceptable. It infuriates me to give such great service and not reap the benefits of it. Everyone's cost of living has gone up. Mine included. I never see a paycheck. I make only tips. It is becoming increasingly frustrating and impossible to make enough money for rent. Someone needs to inform the public that people in the service industry cannot support themselves, let alone their family on such meager tips.

The worst, though, is when your expectations become very high after your guest commends you on your flawless, spectacular service. They go on and on about how great everything was. You thank them sincerely and rush to the back to see if maybe this time you made 25%. You open the check presenter and find two crumpled $1 bills. Verbal tipping is wonderful, as long as you don't forget to tip monetarily as well. It literally crushes a server's self-esteem and morale. We work SO hard, for SO little. While our jobs are not mentally challenging or "rocket-science", they are physically demanding.

So next time you are out to eat with your family at some wonderful Wilmington restaurant, please remember, we are your servers, not your servants. The tip should be viewed as a 20% extension of the bill. You are paying for my service. If you do not want to be waited on I hear the buffets are nice this time of year.