Take Me Back

My mother is an inspirational figure to me. She has the values, patience and wisdom that I could only dream of. Sometimes, when I overreact or become easily frustrated, it is hard to believe that I am related to the woman that is calming me down. She is not tall or overbearing but her presence is always felt, and her copper penny colored hair has always been a reassuring sight for me. Her soft-spoken patience for everyone is always being put to test but I have never heard her say one harsh word about anyone who has tested it. I joke around with her and say that, "When I grow up, I want to be just like you." What she doesn't know is that I am not kidding in the least.

When I was born my mother worked at a bank. Once she became pregnant with me she stopped working so she could rest and have me as healthy as possible. Soon after I was born, she decided that instead of dropping me off at some daycare, she would stay at home for the first six years of my life to give me a head start.

My parents were both thirty-eight when I was born and I had no siblings and never have. So to just stop her professional life temporarily for me was a great undertaking. I am just now beginning to realize the self-sacrificing act of what my mother did for me then. To say that my mother just simply took these years off is not an accurate description. The first six years of my life before school were filled with life lessons that I still carry with me today. Not only did she teach me to read and encourage my imagination, but she also taught me to appreciate life and all forms of it. My mother is one of the most compassionate people I have ever known. She has passed some of this on to me, and for that I am grateful. She taught me to view everyone with equality, and to stand up for what I believe in.

When I had reached the age to begin school, my mother was in search of another job. She found one as a secretary at the elementary school that I would be attending. The only catch was that she had to start at the beginning of the summer and I would not start until the following fall. I cried and told her that I would miss her and I would miss one of my favorite cartoons. So my mother told the principal that she could not start until the fall. I remember her looking at me in the eyes as she dried me off from a bath and saying, "I'll be there to watch it with you." That promise of support has resonated with me through my entire life. She stayed at home for me. She took the risk of losing the job to spend just two more months with me at home.

As fate would have it, the job was still available in the fall and she was able to start school when I did. Having my mom working at the elementary school I attended was a double edge sword. While I never had to be educated on the facts of life by the kids at the back of the school bus, I also had to watch my behavior constantly. One time I was sent to the principal's office for throwing rocks at swing on the playground. The first person to see my face waiting to go in the principal's office was my mother. She came over and said, "Whatever you did, I'm sure there is an explanation, because I know you wouldn't do something without reason." I had been having a hard time adjusting to the school day without my mom around. I had simply gotten frustrated at recess and decided to pass the time by throwing rocks at an empty swing. I just didn't happen to know that it was against school policy. While the school scolded me for breaking the rules my mother said that I was just, "merely bending them." It later became clear to me that I had been raised to question authority and to not obey strictly on orders alone.

I have big parenting shoes to fill if I ever have children because of my mom and dad. The first six years of my life were also the best of my life. They instilled ideals within me that will remain for my entire life. My parents made me want to have children of my own, so that one day I can read them books and give them things. It's all about the sacrifice.