Hiding Behind the All American Girl

She was the THAT girl. When she walked into a classroom, other girls would mumble "bitch" under their breath. Her senior yearbook had over 30 different pictures of her, from her picture as captain of the cheerleading squad to her performing lead in a play to numerous candids of her interacting with her peers. Her college application letter listed her in the top three percent of her class academically, as a member of many clubs and serving as an officer for most of them. She had a weighted GPA of 4.3, was a peer tutor, editor for the school paper and a four-year varsity cheerleader. She was statistician for the baseball team, a volunteer with several charities, a requested keynote speaker for civic organizations, and even a former pageant queen who had performed in front of thousands at the Governor’s mansion. Add to all of that she was the daughter of the winning football and basketball coach who was a popular teacher at the school which she attended. Her long chestnut hair and Bambi eyes accentuated her striking good looks which added the final touches to her already impressive resume. She was considered and often referred to as the All-American Girl. The term is often seen as a compliment but to her it was a label that she was never comfortable with, a piece of societal clothing that others draped over her but she felt never truly fit.

The stereotype of the All-American Girl, especially within the closed environment of the insecure teenage fishbowl known as high school, comes with the expectation of a confident, even arrogant princess who believes herself to be above her peers. For her, the truth was quite the opposite, at least in how she viewed herself. She was shy, painfully so, and her quiet remoteness was often mistaken as snobbery. It pained her as she didn't understand why her peers didn't include her in their group. She didn't understand they looked at her and decided she wouldn't want to hang out with them, even before they ask her. They projected their insecurities onto her. Her friends all had steady boyfriends, but boys just didn't ask her out. They would talk to her, even try to befriend her, but most never made the move for something more. Again, she couldn't see it was their insecurities that stopped them. She didn't see herself as attractive and thought that is why they avoided romantic involvement with her.

What others didn't know was her over-achievement was an expectation of her parents. She was pushed to excel as that was the requirement needed to get her into and pay for college. She had the brains and talent to do whatever she wanted so there was never a question. She simply was expected to do it all. Despite having most of the tools needed, it often didn't come easy. Being shy, she found it hard to stand up in front of crowds to speak. She practiced for hours to prepare. She struggled with math concepts so making good grades in advanced classes meant regular meetings with a tutor. Lacking confidence in her social skills, she struggled with her fears when joining a new club or activity. But she did it because that is what was required of her.
It could be argued that the role of cheerleader is the biggest symbol of the All-American Girl stereotype. This was the most conflicted role for her to carry. When she put on the uniform it was expected that she was a perky ditz who thought she was the hottest thing around. In her experience, this was the truth with several of her teammates. Many of the girls wanted to cheer simply to wear the short skirt and catch the eyes of those around them on Friday nights. For her, cheering was her way of supporting something she loved and was raised with. From the time she was born, she has spent countless hours on football fields and basketball courts. Her life had never been absent of her father coaching and she cheering for him. For four years of high school she could be directly involved by being a cheerleader. She took it seriously and would quickly become frustrated with teammates when they were unaware of what was happening on the field or even who had the ball. As captain she demanded the squad know the difference between offense and defense and the correct cheers for both. When the team lost, she had no patience for giggling and play right after the game. And she had been raised with the principles of good sportsmanship and demanded they be followed. Her perspective of cheerleading often chafed her teammates and further alienated her from them. She loved cheering for her team and her dad but she nearly hated being a cheerleader.

At the senior recognition assembly she took home several awards including one labeled "Best All-Around." She actually had a plaque that officially dubbed her All-American Girl. Little did the audience know that as she accepted the award inside she was actually looking forward to college where she would finally to just get to be herself without the stereotype she had been forced to carry for so long.