Sex and the Sixth Grader

LOS ANGELES -- An Orange middle school teacher accused of having sexual contact with two 13-year-old boys who were former students is scheduled to be arraigned Thursday.

Sarah Suzanne Bench-Salorio, 28, of Orange, is charged with "multiple" counts of lewd acts with a child, according to Orange police Sgt. Dave Hill....

URL Source: http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/4055460/detail.html

NBCSanDiego.com January 6, 2005

In 1997 the arrest of elementary school teacher Mary Kay Letourneau for the statutory rape of her 13-year-old, sixth grade student shocked the nation. By 2005 incidents such as the one listed above had become all too common. It seems that a problem once believed to occur only with male teachers, was happening with women as well. No longer can society assume that the pedophile hiding in the teaching profession is a man. Add to that concern, the age of the students involved seem to be getting younger even as these situations become more publically known.

The problem has been around for years. Rumors often abound in high schools of romantic involvements with senior girls and a teacher or coach. It isn’t totally uncommon for a first year teacher to be linked to a recently graduated student with only a three or four year age difference between them. The predicament with this situation isn't so much the sexual or romantic relationship but the position of the teacher. Teachers are people in authority over students and this sort of involvement is a violation of boundaries. Just as a police officer shouldn't have a relationship an accused criminal, a doctor with someone in his care, or a psychiatrist with his patient, teachers shouldn't become involved with students because of the required boundaries of the position.

But this "trend" that the media is noting in the above article is unsettling at the very least. Students who haven’t even started high school now sexually involved with adults in their 30s – has this always gone on? It seems to be getting so much press because these cases are female teachers involved with 13-year-old boys. Surely the pattern has been there with male teachers also but, as society we are quick to jump in and label the man a pervert, quiet up the case and throw him in jail. Comments can often be heard such as "did you see the girl, there is no way she LOOKED thirteen." Implying that somehow gives a reason and/or justification to the situation. But with women and boys there is a question, a hesitation, a consideration of the sexual interest of the boy involved. Men often tell stories of a sexual romp with an older woman while still a teenager. Many an inexperienced, eager 16-year-old has managed a summer of sneaking off to see an older woman for a personal education of the sexual style. But the students in these cases are 13-year-old children. They are the same kids that should be spending hours in front of video games, worrying if they will be the one to pitch in their next little league game and stuffing cheeseburgers and Pepsi. Instead they are having sex with women in their 30s. And then you must consider the crazy woman - and yes, any thirty-something woman who desires sex with a pimple-faced, voice-cracking, pubescent 13-year-old is crazy – and you have a really sick situation!

What is wrong with these women? The attraction is too confusing to comprehend. Think about it, 13-year-old girls have a hard time liking the obnoxious, name calling, spitting and crude boys of their own age. Why would an adult woman even consider it? Truth is, these women are sick, just as sick as their male counterparts who commit crimes such as these. It just seems as a society we are slower to accept a woman as a sexual predator. But from the looks of the stories coming out, we need to accept this concept, and do it quickly. We also need to remember to teach our children, both female and male, the principles of boundaries with their bodies.

One only has to look at the mothers that saw these boundaries broken, not with their 18-year-old sons, but with their 13-year-old innocent children, to imagine the pain they must feel. Forget therapy with these women, put them where they deserve to be, where they would go if they were a man in the same position, in jail. Jail is the only place to keep children safe from predators.