Never Again

I don’t consider myself to be a genius. I’m not disciplined in all forms and manners of rhetoric, mathematics, or science, so I don’t usually do things that seem impossible to do. Yet somehow this past week, I found myself on the wrong side of a difficult equation. It was an equation that was so difficult, it took me three separate attempts to solve it. As far as I’m concerned, the person who invented these god-awful equations should be drug out into the street and shot.

I can only imagine the diabolical monster that sits back and conceives questions like “What was your net gross earnings in the year of 2006?” Or “What is your current net worth, prior to any loans, scholarships, or earnings?” I’m still having nightmares about these questions. And the worst part about these questions, this wasn’t my taxes I was filling out--this was my renewal application for student loans. I thought once I had applied, that was it. I never dreamed that I would have to give the same information, to the same people, mind you, only six months later. My earnings hadn’t changed. My residency hadn’t changed. And my net worth had definitely not changed. If anything, I’m poorer this time!

Now it is not that I don’t enjoy the notion of having to fill out forms so that I can make a more formal begging for money, it is however the fact that if I should make an error somewhere in my calculations of net worth and gross earnings, then I would be in more trouble than just needing more funds. I never noticed before how many times the renewal forms warn a person about having to reimburse the loan offices should they pay too much money. Not to mention being charged interest on that money as well. After reading that, I had to pray over the document and ask God to keep me safe in the event that I made some sort of fatal error in my information.

I guess the bottom line for this rambling is a bit simpler than those forms I had to fill out. That bottom line is why do companies make it so hard for people to ask for help? I’m not saying that there shouldn’t be rules and regulations to keep con artist and thieves from getting access to money, but why is it so hard for those who really need that extra help financially? Aside from trying to make something out of my life, I’m in college to further expand my abilities to do great things in my lifetime.

Yet now after having to fill out those forms, I’ve been worried about whether or not I’ll wind up in a field that will allow me to earn enough money to pay off all of my loans and still have enough money to live off of for more than a week. That is not a promising prospect to me. I don’t believe that makes college enjoyable, nor does this make it worthwhile. I’m in college to get to a level of achievement and excellence in my field, not to get to a level of debt and despair before I become a husband or father.

I hope that someday we’ll all be just as rich as the fools that make the profits off of our hard work and ambitions. I also hope that this will be the last time I have to face this horrible dilemma in my lifetime. If nothing else, this experience will make my drive to become a connected and powerful individual that much stronger, just so I can spare my lineage the burden of having to fill out forms for money they need.