family choice

My fiance's sociology professor posed this question as an essay topic for their class. I thought it was an interesting topic that would be perfect for my final blog.

Do you choose your own family? If that is a choice you make at some point before your physical life begins then that must also mean that you control your own destiny. Or do you? I guess the idea of choosing your family is appealing to many because that gives you a sense of control over things that many believe to be uncontrollable. By taking a step back and contemplating this idea, one is able to ascertain the many things that an individual’s family is capable of teaching.

When talking to people it is easy to see that everyone believes that their family is crazy, and believe me, mine definitely qualifies for crazy. If everyone has a crazy family than I guess in all actuality everyone could say that their family is normal. I guess I grew up in a “normal” family. I know that I have learned many things from them and everything I have experienced I am grateful for, So it is possible to think that at some point I chose to be in this family.

My parents have always given me basically anything I wanted or needed. I, unlike many spoiled, only children, appreciate the things that I have been given. When I was younger, I was probably more likely to be that way, but now I see the things that my parents do and did to make sure I have the things I have. I didn't grow up in a super rich family, so I know that my parents have made their own sacrifices to ensure that I have those things. I realize that you have to be thankful for the things you have and the things that are given to you, because you never know what someone may have given up or had to go through to get those things for you.

Another lesson I have learned, mainly from my mother, is that family is everything. When my aunt, my mother's oldest sister, was diagnosed with terminal cancer and my mom losing her job, she chose to stay out of work to ensure that my aunt was well taken care of. Obviously that meant a huge loss of income. But money doesn't matter when it comes to family. I have gained so much respect and admiration for my mother because of this. She has taught me, that even if things get tough, you still have to take care of your family, because your family is who you are. And things will eventually get better.

There are many things that my family has taught me and these just begin to scratch the surface on some of the more important lessons. I am grateful for what I have learned and what I will learn in the future from the most “normal” people I know. The hardest thing when thinking about whether or not you really do choose your family, is did they all choose you?