Being Alone

I’ve never really been one who liked spending time alone. I get bored very easily and usually end up out shopping, spending money that I shouldn’t be spending. I never really liked the silence of being alone. But this past summer I was forced to be alone and actually ended up enjoy the time by myself.

My fiancé and I have been together for 6 ½ years and have spent the last 2 ½ living together. We pretty much see one another 24/7 since we live and work together. So when his best friend invited him along for a 2 month European vacation, all expenses paid, I was left alone. I couldn’t tell him that I didn’t want him to go. This was an opportunity that no one should pass up, but I feared not having him around. I was so used to having him around everyday and our friend Scott and Craig were with us almost every evening, whether it be for dinner or go out to a bar. I always had people around me.

Well one would think that when my fiancé leaves for Europe that I would have two of my closest friends to spend time with while he is gone, since they were always around any way. That didn’t work out for me. Scott is in the Army Reserves and spent about 5 of the 7 weeks that my fiancé was gone in Kentucky working with the Army. Craig bought a house in Raleigh with his partner and ended up, of course, spending the entire summer there. I was stuck here going to work everyday and coming home to be alone.

It was a bit difficult at first, but I soon began to realize that having a bit of peace and quiet was actually nice. I enjoyed it. In the evenings if I was tired I could go to sleep and not worry that there was someone I had to entertain (this applies to the friends being around all the time, not my fiancé). I could watch what I wanted to on TV, I pretty much could do whatever I wanted to.

I missed my fiancé terribly and as soon as he left for his trip I began counting down the days till his return. I don’t want to sound like I want him to leave me for long periods of time like this again, (I’ve actually told him no more vacations like that unless I’m coming along with him!), because I don’t. But I did learn and now enjoy being by myself sometimes. The silence of everyone else is nice sometimes, but I still don’t enjoy complete silence.