Why I Can't Go Home

I always wanted to go to college. I was excited to meet new people, have new experiences and live somewhere different. At the peak of my senior year in high school, it became clear who was and wasn’t going to go to college. Seventy percent of my friends actually went away to college and about twenty of those people went to school in a different state. My friends chose of schools was a good indicator of what they wanted to achieve in life. Dozens of kids went to in-state schools together, but I came to Wilmington with one only peer because I wanted to get away from people I already knew. I wanted my college experience to be innovative, full of good and bad experiences that I could learn from.

I came to college and had a boyfriend who still lived at home. My freshman year I went home at least once a month and spent time with him and our other friends that didn’t leave the area to go to community college or to work. After a year of the six- hour drives and spending Friday and Saturday night reliving high school, I stopped going as much. Eventually my long-term boyfriend and I broke up because I didn’t feel like I was living college the way I wanted to be. Throughout that year I began to lose contact with people that I once called every day. After a while I was left with only a handful of friends from high school that I still talked to. I began making friends at school with people more compatible with the person I was becoming.

Coming home also meant staying at home. I lived with my mom in a two-bedroom condo most of high school and this is what I come back to. My mom trusts me and we have a comfortable relationship, but staying under her roof made me feel younger and less mature. Almost directly after leaving home I realized that I am an individual and make my own decisions. I use valuable lessons now that my mother has taught me through the years now that I don’t live with her any more. Things like going to bed at a reasonable time, eating a solid breakfast and doing my laundry. When I left home, I was ready to take care of myself and make responsible decisions because of her.

Another thing about going home is that before leaving, I lived in Northern Virginia my entire life. I made friends with the kids that went to my elementary, middle and high schools but I sort of had to. Unlike college, you can’t pick which school you want to attend and with what people because everything is done by zoning. Coming to Wilmington I knew there would be some motivated, smart, mature and relaxed people that I could be friends with. Also, being back in northern Virginia I realize all the things that I can’t stand about the area. It has it perks being right out side of Washington DC, although there are a lot of things that make the area unbearable at times. There is a lot of traffic, a lot of people and a lot of the people are rude. Coming to the south was a nice change in pace. People take the time to be nice and things are generally slower.

I’m so glad to be in college. I have learned a lot about myself and what I want in my life. Although being in a new place by myself is scary and hard at times, it’s the experience I have been looking for. Now that I have lived in Wilmington for almost three years, I only go home for holidays and stay no longer than a week. This way I can enjoy being at home without feeling like a sixteen-year-old high school student. After I graduate I know that I want to move somewhere else and continue living and learning. I’m a different person than I was in Virginia and the journey has just begun. But for now, Wilmington is home.