Home Is Where Your Parents Are

Pinehurst, North Carolina: a golfer's dream, a middle-aged tennis player’s paradise, and a shop-a-holic’s Mecca. This quaint Southern area could also be called my hometown.

Growing up in a small town where everyone was always “heading to the greens” or “just in from a vicious set of doubles” one is expected to always follow the mainstream. If your pink, Lacoste polo wasn’t neatly pressed, then you were the social outcast. And nothing, not even a parent-teacher conference, was important enough to cancel a Swedish massage Thursday afternoon with Helga at the Pinehurst Spa.

I greatly appreciated the fact that my parents didn’t fall into the category of typical parents in “the Pines.” They weren’t snobby to people who weren’t members of the club and were horrified at the thought of donning matching tennis suits. My parents did enjoy lunches at the club and afternoon tee-times, but above socialites, they were parents. My mom always picked my siblings and me up from school and did homework with us, and my father made sure he was home for dinner every night.

Like my parents, I didn’t want to always conform to the Pinehurst lifestyle. I did like shopping at the boutiques downtown and sitting by the pool at the country club, but I didn’t want to grow up to be the typical “Pine’s” soccer mommy.

I always knew I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in Pinehurst. So senior year in high school I decided to apply somewhere I knew would be laid back and accepting of everyone: here, UNCW. As soon as I was accepted I kissed life in Pinehurst good-bye.

Wilmington is a complete 180 from life in Pinehurst. I can go to class in my pajamas, or bathing suit and coverup and no one cares. It’s so relaxing to know that I can wear my Rainbow sandals every day of my life and not be judged. I’ve realized that enjoying a sunny day is more important than being pissed off that someone took the best tee time.

Last year, my freshman year, going home was a challenge for me. I saw old friends and parents of friends that were still stuck in that “preppy go lucky” mindset, worrying if they had the latest Sperry’s or not. The first few visits were spent trying to switch back into Pinehurst mode. I realized after a couple visits home that I’m much more comfortable being the Wilmington Hayley, and old friends from home can take or leave it. I’m glad to see I’ve evolved into who I want to be, not what my town wants me to be.

Since I’ve experienced the drastically different lifestyle of Wilmington, I could never go back to living in Pinehurst. Home to me now is just where my parents live; I don’t feel any strong connection to the way of life there anymore. Because of this I haven’t gone home much this year. However, my family does come here to visit. I like to think of it as an escape for them to come seaside and visit me in stress-free Wilmington.

I now understand that although I grew up among the straight-laced, wealthy, country clubbers, I don’t have to be that. I can be a freckled faced, sun burnt, golf despising blond. And I like that.