Across the Universe

There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.
- Dante

Why is it that the people closest to our lives can bring us both pain and happiness? As adults, we all have the same capabilities to make the decisions in our own lives. Why then, do we subject ourselves to even the possibility of suffering by allowing other human beings to infiltrate our lives? This is a question with many answers. Perhaps it is simply the notion of living in the realm of loneliness, or maybe we don't consider ourselves "complete" without the companionship of another. Whatever the answer may be, there is little doubt that even deep within the heart of the most isolated being, the flame for belonging burns tirelessly.

I tell myself that times have changed, that everyone is lost; we're all searching for a person who could add meaning to it all. I tell myself these things every day but I know that if I can't find meaning within my own life then nobody could ever make me whole. And maybe we are all lost. We're drifting through space on a rock that, from the larger picture, is no bigger than one fish in the sea. We cling to others to help us find the answers, to sort through the rubble of whatever wars have ravaged the landscape our soul.

The world is a confusing place. Millions have been slaughtered because of differences in religion, and the truth is that nobody ever finds out who's right until it's too late. The wealthy in society flourish, while the lower classes struggle to breathe. Children are dying as we speak. Everybody is faced with the challenge of finding their own way to cope with the utter chaos. So we build relationships. We find people who can listen to us, who can understand us. It is through these people that we draw our conclusions about the mysteries of the generations. These people, whether husbands, wives, friends, or neighbors, play the part of the shadow characters in our lives. Without them, our lives are empty and our views dark and icy.

My nights are sleepless. It doesn't matter if my girlfriend is lying next to me or not. I find myself outside at 3 a.m., smoking a cigarette and staring at the stars with a wondrous eye. It's been like this for years. Despite my emotional attachments and despite the people who have helped shape my life, the questions I have about my existence can never and will never be answered by anyone but myself. So why do I need other people in my life? I need them there because they can offer things that I can't obtain by myself. They make me smile; they can take my cynicism and turn it to hope. We all draw our own conclusions based on our own experiences. And while religion and ethics will be debated forever, we as members of the human race, have the power to choose our own destinies by deciding what it is we perceive as the truth. It's because of our relationships that we have these powers.