I Put My Trust in...Me

We’re surrounded by relationships on a daily basis but it’s our relationship with ourselves that determines what all of the rest of those relationships will be like. We have relationships with our parents, our family, our friends, our acquaintances, and even strangers. The single thing that makes these relationships similar is trust. Trust is really all that any one relationship has in common with any other relationship. In order to have a good relationship with someone, you have to trust them. In order to trust someone else, you have to trust yourself.

The relationships I have with my family and my friends are very different. I love each person in my life in a different and complicated way--but I love them. I couldn't do that, I couldn't attempt that if I didn't trust them. And the reason I trust them is because deep down I know that I can trust them. I trust that I'm right about them.

If you can’t trust in your decisions and your beliefs, then how can you trust that you’ve made the right decision about another person? You can’t. So how is it that we’re able to hit and miss so often and still bounce back and try again? Shouldn’t those failures have already taught us that we are trusting the wrong people? Not necessarily.

I trust myself but I have been hurt. I have trusted the wrong people and made bad decisions--decisions that have changed who I am and my outlook on life. But despite that, despite all the pain I've caused myself, I still believe I trust the right people...at least 95% of the time. I'm just a little more careful now than I used to be.

In order to trust yourself completely you have to give yourself room for error. You have to understand that you aren’t going to get it on the mark every time you throw the dart. This is especially applicable when talking about the opposite sex and our relationships with them. It’s human nature to seek companionship from another person. One of the most important decisions of our lives is choosing our life partner, our mate. Theoretically, that person is going to be the one person in our lives that is constant and forever, so it’s pretty important that we don’t take that decision too lightly.

At almost twenty-two I find myself at a point in my life where one of the more important things on my “to do” list is finding someone to share my life with. Trusting that you will hit the bulls-eye every time is setting yourself up to constantly fall short. Who would trust someone that made them constantly fail? I have made mistakes. I have made bad decisions. My trust has been so battered at times, that I should never have trusted my own judgment again. But I have. How is it that I can do that? Easy. I trust that I will fail.

I trust that I will not succeed—I will fail. But when I fail, I trust that I will learn from it and I will make a better decision next time. That’s why my relationship with myself is a strong one. That’s why, even though I have been hurt as a result of my decisions, I can try again and trust that this time I chose right.

And when I place that trust in myself, I am able to place trust in the people around me. It’s hard sometimes, but we each learn how to choose the people we trust. We each have different criteria for handing out our trust because each of our experiences has taught us different ways to judge the people we meet.

For instance. just because someone is a liar doesn't mean they can't be trusted at all. I have a couple friends that are liars--but they're still good people and I still trust them. I trust that they'd never intentionally hurt me--they just don't always tell the truth.

The people around us are trusted in different ways and to different degrees based on the relationship we’re trying to build. One thing is for certain though. Knowing and trusting the relationship you’ve built with yourself is the strongest foundation you can have for a happy life.