Friends with Benefits

An old fashioned dating relationship that consists of courting first is virtually non-existent in our culture. Today, many of the younger generation have partnerships that are labeled as FWBs (Friends with Benefits). Friends with benefits are characterized as two people who are physically attracted to each other in the aspect of having a sexual partnership. In FWB situations there is little emotion shared between the two people.

It still remains true that anytime you have a sexual connection with someone, there is some emotion involved. The little emotional attachment shared at that moment is not taken seriously enough by either person to develop a long-term relationship. Relationships are built on trust, honesty, security, and spending quality time together. Some of those aspects are not shared in an FWB situation. In most FWB cases, honesty is the only thing that concerns the two friends. The type of honesty referred to in an FWB is sexual honesty. The friends usually and should only exchange their past and present sexual history for the purpose of making sure that neither partner has any sexually transmitted diseases. If one partner has any reason to doubt the other’s honesty they can request certain STD tests are done for their personal safety. If the partner refuses to get the test done, it is presumed that they are guilty of withholding important information and are subject to dismissal from the current FWB situation.

By being able to have a sexual life together, the two friends involved show some emotion towards each other. The Friends with Benefits lifestyle can lead to a relationship in some cases, only if both people agree to have a relationship. In some FWB cases jealously can come into play when one friend, usually the woman, becomes too emotionally attached. Jealously in an FWB situation is the biggest negative aspect of being involved in that type of partnership. If jealously comes into play there aren’t many positive aspects of an FWB situation. Jealously takes away from the most important positive aspect, which is being able to rely on one another for sex and nothing more. When jealously is added to the picture, it is emotionally draining for the jealous partner to just have sex, then get up and leave which the task at hand in any FWB situation unless the partners have agreed to more.

An example of an FWB situation gone badly would be the NASA employee who from Texas to Florida with a space diaper on, in an attempt to do serious bodily harm to her romantic rival. The NASA employee was under the impression that she and the man involved were more than just Friends with Benefits. When she let her emotions get the best of her, eventually they triggered some serious jealously which in turn caused her to become furious at the other woman and go a little over the edge in an attempt to get the revenge that she believed she deserved.

In any FWB partnership, the concept of cheating should never come into play. The friends in the situation are not committed to each other; they are only supposed to be sex partners. Being sex partners requires minimal conversation and technically the partners only need to talk to each other to arrange a meeting place for the task at hand unless a place has already been previously determined. FWBs are not for those that become emotionally attached easily, like me to a partner, which is why I do not agree with this type of partnership.