Sweat a Little

Relationships are hard work. No matter whom they are with: boys, girls, family members or co-workers--I have learned from all the relationships I have been a part of that none are easy. People make you mad and you have to learn to deal with it if it is worth having them in your life.

The relationships that are the most complicated and take the most work are dating relationships. Boys are complicated to girls, and girls analyze everything. I think the reason why boy-girl relationships usually take so much work to be successful is because boys and girls are so different and they both have expectations of the other.

From experience, it doesn’t matter how much you are meant for each other it is hard work. I dated my roommate but our relationship did not have a fair chance because we felt married at 21. No one deserves to feel like this if they aren’t ready for that commitment. Even if you don’t live together those same expectations of a boy/girlfriend are there. Each person involved has an idea of how they want a relationship to be, how arguments should be handled, what they value, etc. This is why communication is so important to working hard and making a dating relationship work.

I have had friends come and ask for advice about what to do in their relationship. A common question to ask is whether they have talked to the other person about it or not. Most of the time they haven't and it would clear up a lot if they would. You have to remember when you are in a relationship that your boy/girlfriend will have no idea what you are thinking unless you tell them.

A lot of our expectations come from movies and TV that make love seem like this amazing thing instead of real life. Love is real, but there are bad times and good times. People think it is supposed to be all smiles but that’s not real love. It takes some pushing and pulling. You’re going to argue and sometimes not like that person but its all about the process of learning them and loving them. Just because you argue or aren't getting a long does not mean you should end the relationship. It takes some compromising and work to keep your relationship healthy.

You also have to remember that when you argue it is hard to not be stubborn and let your pride down. Pride gets in the way of a lot of relationships everyday. I know that personally I have a lot of pride. I know that I am right when I am arguing then a day later I'll rethink everything and give in. This is a downfall and mistake I make. It is important for me to realize this and work on it in my next relationship. Love should always win over pride.

Relationships, no matter what circumstance, take hard work to be successful. However, both people have to work at it. If it the effort is one-sided then there is anger and frustration that builds up and then it ends up no one is working on it. It has to be rewarding enough for both people to want to work at it and there has to be a future, meaning and importance to the relationship. Relationships can be very successful we just have to be willing to be the sweat and blood in it to get there.