Dating Without Going On a Date

The puzzling aspect of dating today is that actual dates are no longer necessary for two people to be in a relationship. Most people wonder what a real date even is. The modern dating arena is primarily composed of late night rendezvous and the occasional party. I like to call myself a romantic and thrive on the tradition of taking a girl out to dinner or a movie. Yet, today these actions are taken as signs of commitment not interest.

At twenty-two, the last time I asked a girl to go on an actual date was over a year ago. Yes I see women and enjoy their company, but buying dinner and engaging in a delightful conversation has become an abnormality. Thus, the new social etiquette makes it increasingly harder to meet someone new and get to know them as a civilized person. In my experience, simply asking a girl to have a cup of coffee can be viewed as a precursor to a relationship. It seems as though the subculture of twenty-something adults emphasizes one-night stands and casual encounters.

Accordingly, I have never understood the notion of “game.” This so called “game” is apparently what gets you into a relationship today. In laymen’s terms, “game” is the approach and mannerisms you take when talking to the opposite sex. When working your game, compliments are unadvised, but casual jokes on appearances and comments are. Also, whenever possible you should lie. Lie about your age, what you do, what your future plans are, but most importantly lie about who you are. Game asks for you to create someone new, a person tailored specifically for the one you’re interested in that night. Essentially, game is how to close, but not how to get dates. Although, I must admit that occasionally I indulge myself and play this game, as it is so appropriately dubbed, yet it is not my preference.

The modern relationship is the bridge between your game and the infrequency of actual dates. Men and women are interested in each other for a one-night stand, or casual relationship, but end up with a significant other. Of course there are exceptions to the dating scene and some people embrace traditional dating methodology. New dating styles have transformed an actual date into a special and meaningful event. Thus, love still exists in the contemporary relationships but its origins are masked by lust. So, as traditional dating styles have given rise to new, casual approaches, the essence of a committed relationship has remained constant.