Saturday, April 7, 2007

Just Like "The Wonder Years"


Upon telling my friend John that I was supposed to be writing a blog about relationships, he put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a look that implied he was about to wax poetic. “Dude, girls are like hand grenades.” He spoke, took his hand back and walked away.

With no insight I sat down and flipped on the TV. There I saw the relationship that I need--the type of relationship that has been lacking in my life as it pertains to females. I need a girl like Winnie Cooper.

Winnie Cooper lived down the street, which both literally and metaphorically makes her the girl next door. Her friendship with Kevin Arnold was forged when Winnie returned an overthrown ball to him. From that moment Kevin and Winnie became linked. This shows how kind she is, that she is willing to give Kevin his ball back.

Winnie Cooper was always cute. Even as her and Kevin entered middle school and she had those beautifully fifties rimmed glasses, she was still cute. Her innocence of her own beauty even made her more so. She couldn’t understand the sudden infatuation that boys had with her, but I could. Then as she got older and got into contacts, we all saw Winnie become this gorgeous girl that was now unattainable.

Winnie Cooper dealt with Kevin Arnold. For those who don’t know, Kevin Arnold was a smart-ass, and at times could be rather obnoxious. He could also even cross-over into the area of mean. One time when he was hurt by something that his brother, Wayne, did he took it out on Winnie, and she being the compassionate, loving, soft-hearted girl she was, forgave him.

Winnie Cooper had a Joe Cocker theme song. If I had a theme song I’m pretty sure it would be by Neil Diamond or Michael Bolton.

Winnie Cooper accepted Paul. Paul was Kevin’s best friend, and was perhaps the most nerdish person in the world. I have a few friends that I would consider cool, but my best friend is perhaps one of the nerdiest people I’ve ever met. He and I often find ourselves debating which Star Wars movie is superior (obviously The Empire Strikes Back.)

Winnie Cooper has played the field. All throughout their relationship Winnie and Kevin would break up, then get back together. This isn’t healthy, of course, but at least she knows what else is out there. I need a girl who knows what she wants, and I am what she wants, much like how Winnie sometimes wanted Kevin.

Winnie Cooper is smart and can hold a conversation. Winnie Cooper went to college and never had a problem talking with people. Winnie could start a conversation, could end a conversation, and could even switch around the entire flow of the conversation with a quick smile and a smart comment.

Winnie Cooper is the manifestation of everything I look for in a girl. Someone who is smart, beautiful, friendly, the girl next door, and knows what she wants. A girl who wouldn’t mind joining the never ending debate over which Star Wars movie is the best, or even a girl who watches The Wonder Years and remembers every good thing about that show and Winnie Cooper.

Perhaps if I focused a little less of Winnie Cooper and fictionlized people, I could find something worth spending money on.

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